The Forgotten Library
by Arista Deja
Summary: When four friends go to their local library, they are plummeted into a whole other world. Which they must save. Which is gonna be hard, considering the fact that evil shadows are after them.
1. The Library Legend and Introductions

**YO HI PEOPLE! So this here is my edit for the FIRST chapter. Becuz I felt like it. Welp, anywayz, for anyone who hasn't read this story at all, it's a CRACK-FIC. Some romance, too, but, like, a LITTLE. Cuz I'm not good at that kinda stuff. But anyway.  
**

**XXX**

**The Forgotten Library**

Everyone talks about a secret room in our public library. Some say if you pull out the right book, you'll find the treasure and riches of the forgotten library. Others say it takes you to a parallel world in the 12th dimension. Still others say that you will get your brain eaten by the ghost zombies haunting the library and you will never be seen again if you dare to enter the room. Even though Lanna is convinced that that's fake, me and my other friends hope it's true. But before I tell you more about the library, I need to tell ya who I am, don't I?

My name is Juliet, but most people just call Julie or Jules. And that's all I'm telling you, you STALKERS. SCREW U.

Not really. But I guess I'll tell you about my best friends.

Firstly is Vaughn, the standoffish cowboy. He seems to have no heart at all. Severously. I'm his best friend, and he still seems somewhat emo. But he's cool. Some people say he's my Romeo (Get it? Romeo and Juliet? The play? Yeah, it's a stupid joke. I hate it too), but he's not. Mostly cuz if I ever say anything cutesy about him, he goes to a corner and starts cutting himself.

Not really. But still. He gets pissed real easy. But he's still cool.

My next friend is Vaughn's brother, Skye. Who, to this day, I think is gay. I mean, who dresses in cow-print and purple skinny jeans? Well, besides Justin Bieber, but he is definately NOT a guy. FYI, his name is JUSTINE BIEBER.

But I digress.

Even though it's quite obvious that Skye is gay, 99.99.99 percent of girls in my school (and a few guys, too) like him. And he's pretty nice, albeit conceited.

My last (and sort of least) best friend is Lanna. And she is... really annoying. But we're friends with her, anyway, mostly cuz she forced herself onto us.

...That's what she said.

But I digress again. Sorry. I meant she forced herself into our quartet of friends.

We all met in first grade one day when there was a big crowd of girls about a month after school started. I went to see what the commotion was, and Lanna bumped into me. She gave me a sorry-ass apology, but I forgave her anyway, and we went to see what was happening together. We tiptoed to see over the crowd and saw a boy with silver hair dressed in a snow-leopard print shirt and purple pants. He was posing for all the girls.

... IT WAS SO DISTURBING.

But I digress. Again. GOSH.

The teacher came in and told everyone to take a seat. All the girls tried to sit near the silver-haired boy, but Ms. Crawford, the teacher, called him up to the front of the class. She also called up another silver-haired boy who wore a cowboy hat and fingerless gloves.

"Class, this is Skye," Ms. Crawford said as she put her hand on the leopard-print boy.

"And this is Vaughn," she said, putting her other hand on the cowboy kid. I didn't think much of leopard boy, but cowboy kid looked kinda cool. Just then leopard boy came up to us.

"Hello, girls," he said suavely. It was kinda funny, a six-year-old talking like that. I fake-barfed all over him. Lanna slapped me. I slapped her. We commenced in a six-year-old mega-slap-off. Silver-head stood there watching. And smirking. I stopped trying to Force-choke Lanna and blinked at him.

"Can I help you?" I asked in monotone.

"Well, my dearly-beloved mother wants me to find a friend for my standoffish brother," he said, examining his finely trimmed nails.

"We'll be your friends!" Lanna said. I wasn't really paying attention, because I was watching Vaughn. He had something yellow in his hands, and he was_ talking _to it. For a second, I thought he fell down the crazy tree and hit all the branches on the way down, but then Skye said Vaughn had smuggled a baby chicken to school.

"Vaughn took a animal to school! What a bad boy~" Lanna swooned. (GOSH what a boy-crazy slut. And she was in first grade, too). Skye called Vaughn over, and we became friends. And we've been friends ever since.

* * *

**So there ya go! First edited chapter! Happy face! =D**

**Oh, oh, I have a BUTTLOAD of made-up words I use, so here they are, so nobody's mixed up:**

**Severously (seriously)**

**Hilervious/ly (hilarious/ly)**

**M-effer (mo-fo)**

**Fudging (F***ing)**

**POOFLES (damn)  
**

**And there ya are~ I might have more, but I can't think of them right now. So yeah. Hope ya enjoyed the new chapter! Pleaze review!  
**

**~Arista Deja~  
**


	2. A Whole New World

**All right! Second edited chapter! I ish happy~**

**XXX**

Me and my friends were at the library, researching Thomas Edison for a school project, but we hadn't researched anything. Lanna and Skye were reading some story together, and me and Vaughn went off to try and find a Thomas Edison book. I read through the titles of the books.

"Thomas Edison: Young Inventor, At Work with Thomas Edison, The Thomas Edison Book of Easy and Incredible Experiments... Vaughn, I don't think any of these are going to work. They don't seem good for research," I said. No response. "Vaughn?" I said, a little louder this time. When that didn't work, I snapped my fingers in front of his face. He woke up from his daydream.

"Huh? Oh, sorry," Vaughn apologized. "I was just thinking about those stories that people tell. About the secret room in the library? What if they _did_ exist?" Of course he was thinking. He is oblivious to the real world when he is lost in thought.

"I hope they do. It'd be nice to get out of doing this assignment," I said. Right then Lanna and Skye came. I noticed they were holding hands. _BARF, _I thought. So I fake-barfed all over Lanna. Lanna punched me in the stomach, and I real-barfed all over Lanna.

"So, did you guys find any good books on Edison?" Skye asked casually. Vaughn shook his head. "How about you guys?" Skye held up the book that he was reading with Lanna. "We tried skimming through this book, but it doesn't really help."

Vaughn looked at me and Lanna and blinked. "I think we should take a break," he remarked. We all walked around the library. Lanna pulled out the latest copy of some lame Justin(E) Bieber magazine Skye went with Lanna to read it (I TOLD you he was gay), and Vaughn stayed with me to see what I would pick out; he didn't have any particular favorite book.

I read the titles of the books. I came across a Harry Potter book.

"Hey, cool, Harry Potter!" I exclaimed. "I haven't read one of these books since-" I was cut off by a slight shaking in the ground.

"What the crap was that?" Vaughn asked in disbelief. "We're in Florida, how can there be an earthquake?"

Then, the unthinkable happened.

The ground split into two.

**Lanna's POV**

"Wow~" I swooned. "I learned so much about Justin Bieber~"

"_I _learned a lot about Selena Gomez," Skye said proudly.

I stared at him. A thought about how hot he was crossed my mind. Then, _Where the hell did that thought come from?_

"Well, I guess we should head back to Julie and Vaughn," Skye interrupted my thinking. I nodded, and we went back to where Julie and Vaughn were standing. Or rather, where Julie and Vaughn were _supposed_ to be standing. They weren't there. Whut the fudge. In their place, I found a book. "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets".

I picked up the book, and something unthinkable happened.

The ground split into two.

**Juliet's POV**

Me and Vaughn were pounding on the ceiling of the cave, to no avail. The roof wasn't giving in.

"Aw, shit! We ain't never gettin' outta here!" Vaughn said, his angry southern/country accent taking over. I felt my heart beat faster. His cowboy accent was so EPIC. I didn't tell him though. I knew what he'd do if I did.

_***Flashback***_

_We were all in Art class in second grade, making origami cranes, but Vaughn couldn't get it right. It looked more a frog with wings on steroids who was pregnant with a baby dinosaur._

_"Aw, shiznits!" he shouted, throwing the pregnant, steroid-bombarded frog on the floor._

_I giggled. "It's cute when you talk like that~" HOLY CRAP DID LANNA'S BOY-CRAZYNESS BLEED ONTO ME? I thought._

_"It ain't cute!" Vaughn shouted again. "Ain't ma fault I talk like this!"_

_He left to sulk, and from that day on I knew not to call anything he did 'cute'._

_***End***_

When the flashback ended, Lanna and Skye came crashing down, screaming their lungs out. Skye was holding the spot in his pants where the sun don't shine.

"I JUST GOT A KICK IN THE CROTCH AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL" he yelled.

Vaughn smirked. "Serves ya right for gettin' yer hair glued to Lanna's. Reckon y'all were doin' art projects and got mighty horny."

Skye blinked. Then he looked at his hair. Then he frowned. "DAMN! THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T EVEN BEND OVER!"

A creepy, crack-loaded voice howled with laughter.

After that, the world went black.

**XXX**

**YESH! SECOND CHAPTER EDITED~! I am SO PROUD of myself~ I'll edit the next chapter soon! Bye, now!**

~Arista


	3. What We Hate

**Hi people! **

**P.S. Everyone should know this, but here's the disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARVEST MOON. SOME RICH VIDEO GAME COMPANY DOES WHICH I FORGET THE NAME OF AT THE MOMENT.**

**XXX  
**

We awoke in a room with a lone lit lightbulb. The walls were pitch black. But Skye was quietly cheering cuz his hair had been separated from Lanna.

Of course, he didn't take into account that there was this THING smiling real creepily at us. About a bajillion teeth were showing from his mouth.

"Hello, all~" it said through clenched, grinning teeth. "I can't wait to see how you all handle your worst hatreds and fears~ First is the pretty boy, Skye."

"Hey! I am not a pretty boy!" Skye yelled. The THING just laughed and poofed away. A dining table appeared in its place. With a huge bowl piled high with curry noodles.

Skye's face went sea-sick green and he put a hand over his mouth.

"Um, curry noodles make me throw up," Skye gurgled.

"Throwing up is not what I'd call it. What you do is projectile vomiting!" I joked, remembering a time when curry noodles were being served for lunch at school.

_***Flashback***_

_We moved down the lunch line. Our UFO (unidentified food object) for the day: curry noodles._

_Me, Vaughn, Lanna and Skye all went to our table. Skye gobbled down his curry noodles, thinking they would taste like curry, his favorite food._

_Nothing could be further than the truth._

_Skye's face turned the color of lima beans. He ran outside as fast as his feet could possibly take him._

_After we waited for five minutes for Skye to come back, we decided to go looking for Skye._

_A chilling sight met our eyes when we went outside. Everything was __**covered**__ in vomit. A line of throw up was racing out of Skye's mouth like a bullet hitting a bullseye._

_***End Flashback***_

"This is no time for jokes!" Lanna scolded me. To Skye she said, "Skye, all you have to do is eat it. You can throw up as much as you want later."

Skye nodded. He walked to the dining table rather dizzily and grabbed a fork. He shivered as the fork dipped into the noodles.

The fork came out again with no food on it. Skye tried again. Same results.

"Dip your face in," said the THING from the opposite corner of the room, practically and quite likely dying of laughter.

Apparently, the thought of just having his face touch the food was enough to make his barf.

Vaughn sighed and easily raised Skye by the hair out of his chair. "Damn wuss, just eat, or I'll shove your face in the bowl whether ya like it or not."

Skye, completely convulsive with fear of his brother (who was, in fact, a good eight inches or so taller), lowered himself down into his chair and had a staring contest with the bowl.

He then took the bowl and drank all of the stuff in it. Of course, he started vomiting everywhere, but he still got it done. We all started cheering.

"Hmm. Quite an accomplished little gayfer, isn't he?" the THING asked. Skye did a pre-sob chin-shake. "Well, here's the next hated item."

A fish bone fell from the ceiling and flopped to where Lanna stood. Lanna gasped loudly.

"Oh, you poor thing!" she wailed. "How could anyone do that to a poor, defenseless fishy?"

Vaughn was twitching, as he thought he would never get out of a room under a library because he was surrounded by blithering idiots.

More bony fish collapsed to the floor and started building...

...some sort of dumpster around themselves. So now we couldn't see what was happening.

Skye poked his head in. "Lanna? You o- HOLY CRAP SPARE ME THE SIGHT! I'M BLIND!"

Vaughn walked over and looked. Then he immediately withdrew his head into his scarf like a turtle. "Goodbye, cruel world..." he cried in a muffled voice. "Why must I have seen Lanna with her dress torn off? !"

So, cautiously, I looked... and very much wished I hadn't. Well, I'm sure you don't want to know, but... Lanna was getting raped by a fish bone.

To make a long story short, and so I don't have to describe any more of what happened, and so I don't have to type anymore about the subject, Skye got her out, she hid behind the dumpster until Skye glued the remaining scraps of her dress back together, blah blah... So yeah. Really awful.

ANYWHO.

The THING laughed. Again.

And in the far distance, I saw a sea of orange.

A sea of carrots. Carrots with evil, twisted smiles with arms and legs, but worst of all was that they _talked._

These evil looking talking carrots were saying, "Carrots are your friends, Vaughn! We love you, Vaughn!" When they talked, they revealed needle-sharp fangs.

Vaughn had since turned around, and he was pale and trembling from fright. "OH SHIZNITS" we all yelled.

The carrots were moving closer.

"Oh, my GOD I can't do this..." Vaughn muttered.

"Vaughn, you have to. For you, and for us," I told Vaughn. "This is the only way we can get out of here."

By then the carrots were almost surrounding us. When they were completely surrounding us, Vaughn started sinking into the ground. Slowly but surely, he was disappearing.

"Holy crap! What's happening?" he yelled. I grabbed his hand, but it wouldn't stop him from sinking. He was almost knee deep in carrots now.

Vaughn was drowning in carrots. WHUT THE FUDGE.

"Vaughn, you have to eat the carrots!" Lanna yelled. "Just one!"

"EWWWW!" he screamed girlishly.

Vaughn tried grabbing a mutant carrot, but it bit his hand and jumped back into the orange ocean.

When Vaughn was already neck deep in carrots, he lifted his hat and plunged his head into the carrots.

All of a sudden, the carrots started disappearing. Vaughn's mouth was full of carrot chunks. He spit them out and cheered.

"Vaughn, you did it!" I exclaimed. Me and Vaughn high-fived.

For the first time, the THING frowned. "You guys SUCK. Now it's Juliet's turn, and who better to turn into a zombie than her boyfriend?"

Vaughn started turning slime green. Real slime was appearing on his body, and soon he was completely green. His eyes went black and lifeless, and his mouth was completely black, frowning and drawn to banana-like proportions. He tried to talk, but all that came out were eerie moans. He looked only remotely human now. He was just a blob of slime with a face.

Vaughn was a zombie.

**XXX**

**GASP. How'd I write? Slash edit? Was it good? TELL ME IN A REVIEW. OR I SHALL KILL U. HA. Well, anywho. Pleaze review~ New Chapter 4 is coming soon! Bye! *salutes everyone***

~Arista~


	4. Vaughn is a Zombie

**Author's Note: How long has it been since my last update, like, two months?! I am so ashamed of myself. Well, it's not entirely my fault. Well, it is, but in a sort of not-my-fault kind of way. I'm writing a book on paper (so it won't be a fanfic) that I hope to publish. It's about a girl named Gwen, who starts her first day of middle school. She meets these two kids named Violet and Vaughn (yeah, the same Vaughn from Harvest Moon, but I changed up his personality and eye color), who she ends up being friends with. After school, they find a parallel world called Aslynn. There, they meet Ethan, the archer. They find out that there is an evil scientist on the loose and that they have to stop him.**

**But I don't wanna spoil the book, so I will say only this: if you see a book called Aslynn Princess by Vienna Schmidt one day, that's my book. I hope ya buy it!**

**Now for this story. Thank you to Anime Girl 593 for sending reviews that helped me regain my confidence in this story! So, here we go!**

* * *

I couldn't believe it. Vaughn was a zombie right in front of me, but I couldn't believe it. Then the voice came again.

"Juliet has to kiss a zombie!" she sang. I almost blacked out.

"Jules..." Lanna began. "We all faced our fears. You have to face yours."

Then Skye spoke up. "Yeah, you wouldn't want Vaughn to be a zombie forever, would you?" I gasped at the thought of losing my best friend because I couldn't face a zombie. "I mean, he's still Vaughn. He hasn't changed on the inside," Skye continued.

I thought about this. Skye was right. The zombie _was_ still Vaughn. I mustered up my courage, walked to the green, slimy, oozy zombie, leaned in, and... ran away screaming. Skye frowned and shook his head in disapproval. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the disgusting zombie while yelling, "I'm not gonna stay in this stupid haunted room cause you're acting like a three-year-old baby!"

I stared at the gruesome zombie. In a small burst of bravery, I planted a _very_ quick kiss on his cheek and backed away.

The ugly zombie looked at himself, but, when he saw that nothing had happened, he made a woebegone face.

"Nuh-uh-uh!" the voice came again, obviously enjoying my moment of torture. "It's gotta be on the mouth, and it can't be quick."

I collapsed to the floor. When I looked up, the hideous zombie was crying. Black tears slipped down his face.

Then I realized: Vaughn was crying. Because that horrendous zombie was Vaughn. Crying was something he had never done before.

I felt awful for being such a coward, so I got up and walked to the gross zombie, making sure none of the yucky slime got on me. Then, against my better judgement, I put my mouth on his for about five seconds, shutting my eyes tight so that it wouldn't be so utterly disgusting.

When I opened my eyes, the zombie was no where to be found. In its place stood Vaughn. He had a blank expression on his face.

After a few seconds, he smiled. It wasn't a big smile, but it was a real one.

"Thanks," he said in a quiet voice. I nodded, as if to say you're welcome. But that cursed voice interrupted the moment.

"If you think that was scary, wait'll you see what's coming next," it said.

But, for some reason, I didn't care. Because I was with my friends. We were safe. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry it was such a short chapter. I have big writer's block. But in the next chapter will (probably) be: cabin fever, a monster, and a special moment between a former zombie and a zombie-phobic. So I guess you can look forward to that. And I'll try to update more often!**


	5. Untitled Until Further Notice

**Author's Note: Yay! I have a new pen name! But sorry for the delay, everyone. I guess I feel like I can slack off because not a lot of people read the story. BUT NO MORE!!! I WILL BE RESPONSIBLE AND WRITE EVERY WEEKEND!!! Anyway, so I changed the name of that book I'm working on to **_**"Adventures In Cresthia"**_**. Well... I don't have much more to say, except, enjoy this chapter!**

**~Aslynn**

As we kept walking through the narrow, god-forsaken tunnel, we came across a manhole.

"What in heck's a manhole doin' in here?" Vaughn asked to himself. He was still talking in a southern accent, so I asked him if he was mad.

"No. Why?" was Vaughn's simple answer.

"Well, you're talking country."

"I am? Cuz it don't seem like I am... Hey, I am!" he exclaimed. I just shrugged. _Better for me,_ I thought.

While we had talked, Skye had opened the manhole.

"I am _not_ going in there," Skye said scornfully when he looked inside. He had good reason to not want to; the hole under the manhole was completely covered with dust. It was very deep, too. Lanna put her head in it.

"It has a ladder, so we can climb down," she said when her head popped back out. Skye backed away.

"No way I'm going in there," he repeated. Vaughn pushed him in until he was clinging to the ladder.

"Don' be such a wuss!" he scolded Skye. When Skye climbed all the way down, which was pretty far, he began to dust himself off. Lanna looked at him curiously while me and Vaughn snickered at his show of girliness.

"Don't laugh!" Skye yelled from below. "It _is_ dusty!" We laughed harder. Lanna shot us an icy glare before she climbed down, too. She sneezed when she got to the bottom.

"I told you it was dusty!" Skye stated triumphantly. Lanna rolled her eyes but giggled in her girlish fashion. Now it was Vaughn's turn to roll his eyes. I proceeded to climb cautiously down the ladder, which was similar to a fire escape that you might find in New York or something.

When I was off the ladder, Vaughn got on and began to climb to the bottom. But he lost his grip.

And started plummeting to the ground. It's quite a horrifying feeling to watch your best friend fall from a height of 50 feet.

He landed face first with a _**CRASH! **_sound. I rushed to him to help him up. He fell back down again. He was holding his nose, which was oozing blood.

"Aw, durn gummit!" he yelled nasally. "Dang, that hurt!! Skye, ya got a handkerchief?" Skye came over and gave him a tissue. Vaughn held it to his nose and tilted his head back.

At this point, I suddenly felt tired. Apparently, so did Lanna, because she was sitting against the wall with her eyes closed. Vaughn seemed to be faring well, so I decided to rest, also. I sat down, closed my eyes, and dreamed about a place with no zombies or mutant carrots.

I awoke in a strange place. The walls weren't black, like the rest of the stupid tunnel, but a sort of unnerving purple color. I also noticed I wasn't sitting down, but laying on something sharp. I got up and saw that I had been sleeping on a large, flat rock. _Weird,_ I thought, _I wasn't on this when I fell asleep._ I had a steadily escalating feeling of foreboding. I glanced around and saw Skye sleeping on another flat boulder. I walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. No response. I tapped him again. Still nothing.

My temper was getting the better of me, so I picked him up and throttled him. He woke up with a loud yell and I dropped him.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR, STUPID?!" he screamed.

"FOR NOT WAKING UP, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT!!!" I screamed back. He punched me in the stomach. Man, Skye might be a pretty boy and he might look like he's underfed, but he can punch _hard!_ I fell to the floor, clutching my aching tummy.

After a second, I got up and slapped him on the face, then, while he was dazed, I spun him around by the shoulders and pushed him to the ground so that he hit it face-first. His head hit the floor with a resounding _kong!_ noise.

So I pushed him aside and knocked on the seemingly hard floor, but it sounded hollow. I immediately abandoned my bad mood and said, "Skye, help me rip up these floorboards!"

"Why should I?" he seethed.

"Because we have to get into the floor!" I yelled, getting irritated again because of his selfishness. He looked at me like I had suddenly gone bald. Then I realized why.

"I mean, the ground is hollow!" I explained. "We can get through!"

Skye shook his head and said, "You're off your rocker."

That was it for me. I lunged at him like a cat and pinned his head to the floor, despite his hollering.

Right when I was about to sock him in the face, a familiar voice called out.

"Julie! Skye! Where are ya?!" the voice yelled.

I had never been happier to hear Vaughn's voice than when I was at that moment. I ran off in the direction of where the sound was coming from.

**Author's Note: Yeah, this was a pretty boring chapter, but I had a really funny idea at the last minute but I didn't want to put it in this chapter. So basically, this is just a filler chapter. I'm excited about writing the next chapter, so the story will be updated much sooner.**

**~ Aslynn**


	6. Laughing Gas

_**Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter! I'm gonna add in two new characters and take away one of those characters and one of the original characters. You know what they say, an eye for a tooth, a nose for a chin, a butt for a... Well, that's the saying, though it's not a very good one. Anyway, here is the story!**_

_**Skye: Finally! Maybe one of the new characters is gonna be a girl. Or maybe they're both girls... that'd be great...**_

_**Lanna: *slaps Skye on the shoulder***_

_**Skye: What the heck, Lanna?**_

_**Vaughn: Y'all're like an old Jewish couple.**_

_**Skye and Lanna: WE ARE NOT!**_

_**Juliet: Yes, you are.**_

_**Vaughn: See? She agrees with me.**_

_**Skye: *rolls his eyes***_

_**Lanna: Don't be so mean, Skye!**_

_**Vaughn: Proving my point.**_

_**~Aslynn and her insane Harvest Moon friends**_

**XXX**

Running toward Vaughn and Lanna, I stopped and thought. This tunnel was probably full of scary and horrible things. What if those things had captured Vaughn and Lanna and were impersonating them? So I walked slower and more quietly.

When I approached them, I saw that they were Vaughn and Lanna, but something was wrong. They were _fighting._ They had never fought before. None of us had. I listened to what they were saying.

"... the one who let them disappear!" Lanna yelled.

"Maybe if I hadn't fallen of that durn ladder, I wouldn't'a got a nosebleed! Maybe YOU could'a been watchin'!" Vaughn shot back. He seemed really mad.

"I fell asleep! You could have been more careful, then maybe you wouldn't have fallen off the ladder!" Lanna retorted.

I stepped between the two of them real fast, trying to stop their argument.

"Julie?" Vaughn and Lanna said at the same time. I nodded and asked, "Why were you fighting?"

They both started talking and arguing again. I did a facepalm and got out of the way of their feuding.

"That's it! I'm leaving!" I heard Lanna scream. She stormed off, leaving Vaughn fuming and me in shock.

It took me a second for everything to sink in. Apparently, Lanna had fallen asleep and Vaughn had passed out from blood loss from his nosebleed. In that time, me and Skye had disappeared.

Then I remembered how the floor was hollow. "Vaughn! Follow me!" I said, dragging Vaughn by the arm to the hollow ground.

"Hey, I can walk, ya know!" Vaughn yelled. Despite his protests, I kept dragging him to the spot I had came from. When we got there, I knocked on the floor. It was still hollow.

"Help me break through the ground, Vaughn," I commanded. He shrugged and began to try ripping the floor apart. So did I. Then Skye came back and stared at us.

"What?" Vaughn asked. Skye shook his head pitifully. I rolled my eyes.

We kept trying to break through, until, finally, a piece of the ground broke, revealing a deep gap.

"Oh... snap. Of course this happens to us," Skye muttered. The pit was full of an eerie green gas.

On Vaughn's face was a mixture of horror and excitement (how that was possible, I have no idea). Skye was just freaked out. As for me... I don't really know. I think I was mostly bewildered at how all this was possible.

"This... is..." Vaughn breathed, "AWESOME!" He jumped in and plummeted down into the creepy fog. Skye did a facepalm.

"I'm not going in there," he said. I punched him in the shoulder.

Just then, Vaughn's head popped out of the smoke. He was wearing a smile that made the Cheshire Cat's grin seem like a woebegone expression.

"This place is awesome!" he screamed. He jumped back into the smoke. I cocked an eyebrow. This was definitely not Vaughn's normal behavior. And his voice was a little more high-pitched than it should have been.

"Well, if Vaughn didn't die," Skye said, "It should be safe." He jumped in, too. I sighed and climbed down.

As soon as I got to ground level, I tried to find Vaughn and Skye. They jumped at me with smiles that seemed fit for the Joker.

"HI JULIET THIS PLACE IS FREAKING AWESOME AND AMAZING LIKE IT COULD TAME A WILD RHINOCEROS OR A ZEBRA OR A SHARK OR A HAMSTER OR SOME ANIMAL LIKE THAT!" Vaughn hollered. His voice sounded like he had swallowed helium.

"HE'S TOTALLY RIGHT AND THIS PLACE IS SO AMAZING AND COOL AND IT'S TOTALLY SUPER AND IT WOULD BE THE PERFECT HIDEOUT!" Skye shrieked. His voice was also extremely high-pitched. He started laughing. So did Vaughn. I backed away from them.

"TAKE A BREATH, JULIET!" they howled. I cautiously inhaled... and felt light-headed, like I suddenly had no care in the world. I started cracking up along with them.

"S-sometimes," Skye yelled through his laughter, "Sometimes I wet my bed!"

"That's alright!" Vaughn cried. "Sometimes _I_ wet your bed!" We howled with laughter.

"Thanks for getting me in here!" Skye screamed at Vaughn. "This is the most fun I've had in years!"

"No, thank _you _for disappearing!" Vaughn yelled back. "That was totally super!"

"Thank you both for getting us in here!" I bellowed. "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!" We laughed even more.

We howled and laughed, until something white glistened in the corner of my eye in the middle of our laughing fit. I walked over to it and examined it.

It was a human skeleton.

I glanced around nervously, only too see millions more strewn around the room.

Then I realized. The eerie green smoke was laughing gas.

"G-Guys," I stuttered, "y-you should re-really stop laughing." They ignored me. "S-Seriously, guys." They laughed harder.

So I ran off to find an exit before I died laughing. Literally.

When I did, I dashed back to bring Vaughn and Skye to the exit.

"Come on, guys! Please?" I begged them to get out of there.

"Come on guys!" Vaughn mimicked.

"Pwease? Pwetty pwease?" Skye mocked. I grabbed him by the wrists and dragged him to the exit.

When he was out, I tried to get Vaughn out. He didn't follow. So I grabbed his hat. Usually, that would have made him follow in a heartbeat, but not this time. He laughed even harder in his mousy voice.

So I grabbed him by the arms and tried to haul him away. He stayed. I slapped him in the face. That made him pause for a second.

Then he laughed even harder. I punched him in the stomach. He laughed harder.

By this time, Skye was back to normal. I asked him to help me pull Vaughn to the exit. He agreed.

We walked to Vaughn again, holding our breaths. I grabbed his arms while Skye pushed him from behind.

Finally, we were able to get him out of the laughing gas and into regular air.

After a minute, he was back to normal.

"Whoa..." he said dizzily. "That... that was really weird..."

"You wet my bed?" Skye asked him.

"That was gas talk, dude," Vaughn responded with a snicker. I did another facepalm.

"So... are we going to go now?" Vaughn asked me. I nodded, and we were on our way.

**XXX**

_**Author's Note: Sixth chapter is DONE! WOO-HOO! But I couldn't add in any characters... Well, at least I got rid of Lanna.**_

_**Skye: Why is she gone?**_

_**Me: Cuz she's annoying!**_

_**Juliet: Testify!**_

_**Vaughn: YEAH! *gets on his knees* CAN I GET AN AMEN?**_

_**Me and Juliet: XD**_

_**~Aslynn and her awesome HM friends**_


	7. A New Friend, Sort Of

**Author's Note: Hi random people out there who are reading my story! I think the new characters will be added in this chapter!**

**Skye: Who are they?**

**Me: Rich boy, tomboy, and one of my own creation.**

**Vaughn: -_- Yeah, that helps us guess. *sarcasm***

**~Aslynn and friends**

**XXX**

"Julie, it's too cold in here!" Skye whined. He had been complaining for the last forty minutes or so. Julie this or Julie that or Julie I honestly think we should get out of here because I think something real bad's gonna happen. It was driving me crazy.

"Would ya shut up already?" Vaughn said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He always did that when he was annoyed.

"Well, excuse me if I think something really bad's gonna happen," Skye muttered. Then, "Julie, I'm bored!"

"Okay, let's play Truth or Dare!" I said through clenched teeth, trying to force a smile onto my face.

Skye thought about it. "Okay, that sounds pretty fun," he finally replied.

"I'll start," I said. "Skye, Truth or Dare?"

"Hmm... dare," Skye said. I smiled. I had been hoping he chose dare. I had a great dare for him.

"I dare you..." I paused for dramatic effect. "To tick Vaughn off." His jaw dropped. Vaughn was zoning out while I said this, so I had no worries that he might have heard.

"You are evil," Skye mumbled. He gulped and walked over to Vaughn. He poked him on the shoulder. Nothing happened, but, of course, there was always calm before the storm.

Skye waited a moment, then poked Vaughn again. Vaughn twitched and came back to reality. He stared at Skye. "Why are you poking me?" he asked, dumbfounded. Skye didn't respond. Instead, he kept poking Vaughn.

After getting poked for about five minutes, Vaughn started chasing Skye all around the room while I rolled on the floor laughing.

"YOU'RE DEAD, SKYE!" Vaughn was yelling. "YOU'LL BE A REAL PHANTOM WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"

I remembered Skye's 'Code Name'. Sometimes he would call himself 'The Phantom' or 'Phantom Skye'.

It started when we had noticed how pale he was. I had suggested that he might be a ghost or something. We laughed, and Skye said that would be a cool 'Code Name'. Since then, he's called himself 'Phantom Skye'.

Finally, Vaughn caught Skye in a headlock. "Let me go!" Skye yelled, flailing his arms, trying to get out of Vaughn's tight grip. "I promise I won't poke you anymore!"

Vaughn reluctantly let Skye go, but gave him a Wet Willy **[A/N: For those of you who don't know, a Wet Willy is when you wet your finger with saliva and stick it in someone's ear]**.

"So, you still gonna complain?" I asked Skye. He shook his head real fast. I smirked.

"Good. Then let's keep moving," I said, walking away. I motioned for Vaughn and Skye to follow.

"I really feel like something bad's gonna happen," Skye said nervously. I rolled my eyes.

"Something bad _is_ going to happen. But what?" a voice asked. I glanced at Vaughn. He shrugged and kept walking.

"You should not go forward, for there are grave dangers down the path," the voice spoke again. "But if you do not want to heed my warning, continue on your way."

Skye shuddered. So did I. Vaughn looked around for what might be the cause of the voice.

"You are searching in all the wrong places," said the voice. "But chin up. You'll find the answer!"

We all looked up. Hanging from the rafters was a boy who looked like he was about our age. But there was one BIG difference. Bat wings protruded from his arms.

The boy swooped down from the ceiling and walked slowly around us in a circle.

"I have not seen visitors in so long..." he said with a chuckle. His voice was so smooth and clear, it almost didn't sound human. Of course, he didn't exactly _look_ human, either. I mean, he did look like a human, but there were a lot of differences.

First of all, he had those bat wings. And his eyes were bright orange, but with no pupils. And his hair was such a shiny black that it didn't look real. But his voice is what stood out the most. It sounded like an angel's voice.

He was dressed in all black. Black long-sleeved shirt, black gloves, black jeans, and black boots. In contrast, his skin was extremely pale, even more pale than Skye's skin.

"Who are you...?" I managed to ask.

The boy smirked. "My name is Sylvester, if that is what you mean," he replied. He had the slightest British accent.

"Well, why are you here?" Skye asked.

"I live here, if that is what you mean," Sylvester responded. "If that is not what you mean, I am here because I cannot allow you to pass without knowing of the dangers that lie ahead."

"What dangers?" Vaughn asked, bored.

"Oh, just man-eating plants, ghosts, that type of thing," Sylvester answered. Skye shuddered again.

"I'm not going, then," Skye said. His voice was quavering a little.

"I would gladly take you," Sylvester offered. "But you will have to follow my rules."

"Okay. What are the rules?" Skye asked.

"Dear me, so many questions," Sylvester said. "But my rules are as follows: Number 1: Always listen to Sylvester. Number 2: Stay together and do not stray from the path. Number 3..."

His face got very serious. "Are you all ready for this rule? It is a very strict rule," he said. We nodded.

"He who has gas travels at the back of the pack," he stated cheerfully, abandoning his serious demeanor.

"Aw, come on!" Vaughn yelled. "Ya got us all worked up fer that?"

"Yes, I did. Is it not obvious?" Sylvester replied calmly.

"Oooh! Vaughn just got burned! He roasted you, Vaughn!" Skye said, laughing. Vaughn crossed his arms.

"Well... are we all ready to go?" Sylvester asked. We nodded.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: WOOT! The seventh chapter's done! I still wasn't able to put in all the new characters, though... At least I got one in. Sylvester isn't from Harvest Moon, for those of you who are wondering. He is a character from my own creation. =)**

**~Aslynn**


	8. Thriller, Thriller Night

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! The new characters WILL get added in this chapter! I think.**

**Skye: Please add them in today?**

**Me: DON'T RUSH CREATIVITY!**

**~Arista and Skye**

**XXX**

"Come along, come along, don't dawdle!" Sylvester hurried us along the path. We had been walking for hours through the tunnel. Skye's stomach rumbled.

"I'm hungry!" he whined. "Isn't there anything to eat?"

"No," was Sylvester's simple reply. I sighed. I was pretty hungry myself.

In the far distance I saw something. It looked like a house.

As we kept walking, water and plants started appearing. Fireflies buzzed around and

When we finally approached the house, I saw that it was no ordinary house. It was a mansion. A pretty spooky mansion. It was painted black, with trees shrouding it. Red eyes peeked out from the trees. I shivered. It was getting pretty cold.

Sylvester knocked on the door sharply three times. The door opened with an eerie _creeeeeaaaaaak _sound.

What I saw next gave me the biggest fright in my life.

There was a zombie standing in the doorway. A blue zombie with long pale blue hair and bags under his eyes.

I hid behind Vaughn real quick, biting my lip so I wouldn't scream.

"Hello, Carl," Sylvester greeted the creepy zombie. To us, he said, "This is my butler, Zombie Carl."

"Pleased to meet you," the zombie said, bowing like a gentleman. He had a very deep, pleasant voice. It didn't sound at all like a zombie's voice.

Sylvester spotted me hiding behind Vaughn. "Don't worry, Miss Juliet. Carl is a nice zombie," he told me.

"Yes," the zombie agreed. "Blue zombies are the good zombies. Green ones are the bad ones."

Vaughn looked over his shoulder at me. "I reckon these fellers are okay," he said. "I don't reckon ya should be afraid of 'em."

"So you're name is Carl?" Skye asked the zombie. The zombie nodded, revealing some bald spots on his head.

"Oh, dear!" Sylvester exclaimed. "I have not brought you all in to meet Madame Natalie!"

My teeth chattered. "I'm n-not going into a h-house with z-zombies in it," I stuttered.

Zombie Carl thought for a second. He went inside.

A moment later, he came back out holding a small stereo. He pressed the Play button and a song started playing as Sylvester and Carl began to dance.

_It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark_

_Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart_

_You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it_

_You start to freeze as horror looks you right between your eyes_

_You're paralyzed_

Then Skye began to dance with Carl and Sylvester.

_'Cause this is thriller, thriller night_

_And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike_

_You know it's thriller, thriller night_

_You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight_

Vaughn started to dance, too.

_You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run_

_You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun_

_You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl_

_But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind_

_You're out of time_

Vaughn grabbed my hands and dragged me into their little dance group.

_'Cause this is thriller, thriller night_

_There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl_

_Thriller, thriller night_

_You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight_

The zombie started to sing.

_"Darkness falls across the land_

_The midnight hour is close at hand_

_Creatures crawl in search of blood_

_To terrorize y'alls neighborhood_

_The foulest stench is in the air_

_The funk of forty thousand years_

_And grizzly ghouls from every tomb_

_Are closing in to seal your doom_

_And though you fight to stay alive_

_Your body starts to shiver_

_For no mere mortal can resist_

_The evil of the thriller..."_

When the song was over, I was shaking so much I thought I would fall apart.

"W-was th-that sup-supposed to m-make me f-feel better?" I asked. I was stammering so much that I could hardly understand what I said.

"Of course, Miss Juliet. Do you really think an evil zombie would sing and dance?" Carl said. Three thoughts struck my mind. One: _Why did they have to choose that specific song? _Two: _Maybe he's right. No bad zombie would dance. _And three: _Man, Vaughn's cute when he dances._

"That was awesome!" Skye yelled. "I got to dance with a zombie!"

"C'mon, Julie. Ya gotta admit that _was_ pretty cool," Vaughn said. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and reluctantly nodded. At least I wouldn't be scared of zombies too much after this.

"Now then, we must go see Madame Natalie," Sylvester said after a while.

The zombie walked into the mansion while Skye followed.

I took a deep breath. Me and Vaughn walked into the mansion, hand in hand.

"Good evening, friends from the other side," a pink-haired girl said to us. I wondered what she meant by 'friends from the other side'.

"What d'ya mean by 'friends from the other side?" Vaughn verbalized my question.

"You are all from Earth, correct?" the girl asked. I nodded. So did Vaughn and Skye. "Then that means that you are from the other side," the girl explained. "I am Madame Natalie, by the way."

Skye took a good look at her, and I thought he was gonna try to lay his womanizer charms on her. But instead, he asked, "Aren't you that girl who went missing four years ago?"

Her eyes got all shifty when Skye asked that. "W-well, I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in telling you..." she said hesitantly. "Seeing as you will all be staying in this world forever..."

Vaughn blew his stack. "WE'RE ALL GON' STAY IN THIS SCREWED UP WORLD FOREVER? WHEN WERE Y'ALL PLANNIN' ON TELLIN' US THIS?"

"I thought you knew already," Madame Natalie said calmly. "Anyone who comes to this world must stay forever. I came here four years ago and I wouldn't be able to leave even if I wanted to."

"Well, I guess as long as there's no gators or crocodiles here, I'm good," Skye said.

"You're scared of alligators?" I asked.

"He's terr'fied," Vaughn answered my question. "B'sides curry noodles, gators are his worst fear."

"At least I'm not scared of mimes!" Skye yelled. "Vaughn gets messed up when he sees a mime!"

"Mimes are freaky," I said. Just thinking about one makes me shudder. Stupid skinny people with freaky white faces and black berets and stripy jail shirts and stripy jail pants. So freaky.

"So what do you all want here?" Madame Natalie asked.

"THEY WANNA BE TURNED INTO SPIDERS!" a voice screamed from the ceiling. I looked up. There was a boy with blue hair and cat eyes hanging from the ceiling by a spider's thread.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! NO SPIDERS!" another boy called out. He had blonde hair with a cowlick and his head was popping up from a dresser drawer.

"SPIDERS ARE AWESOME!" the boy on the ceiling yelled. "TURN THEM INTO SPIDERS, MADAME NATALIE!"

"Forgive them," Madame Natalie said. "They are my cousins. The boy who likes spiders is Luke and the boy who hates them is Gill."

All of a sudden, Luke dropped down from the rafters.

"Kumo ni kaete kureru!" he chanted. I felt myself transforming, growing smaller and smaller. Extra eyes popped out of my skull and extra legs popped out of my body.

I was a spider.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: Dang, this chapter was RANDOM! I know the song was totally irrelevant, but whenever I think of zombies, I think of Thriller. And I just had to add in Luke. Luke will add mad insanity to the story. I LOVE INSANITY!**

**~Arista**


	9. We Finally Meet the Shadows

**Author's Note: Hi peoples! I had a dream last night and it gave me the best idea for this chapter! It's kind of like a Princess and the Frog kind of thing with some of my own creations added into it. So enjoy!**

**~Arista**

**XXX**

An earth-shattering scream sounded from the drawer where Gill was hiding.

"SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY!" he yelled.

I looked around. Apparently, Skye and Vaughn had been turned into spiders, too. Vaughn was a brown and black spider with eight amethyst eyes and a silver head, and Skye was a cow-print spider with purple legs, a silver head, and eight green eyes. Gill kept yelling.

"GO AWAY, YOU FREAKY BEASTS OF BURDEN!" he screamed. Skye waggled his spider butt in Gill's face. Gill hollered louder.

"Luke!" Madame Natalie called. "I told you not to turn people into spiders anymore!"

"But spiders are awesome, Madame Natalie!" Luke whined. Gill climbed out of the dresser drawer. He tried to step on us while Skye climbed all over him. Luke kept complaining to Madame Natalie.

_**"WOULD Y'ALL JUST SHUT UP?" **_Vaughn screamed at the top of his lungs.

He pointed a hairy spider leg to Luke. "You! Get yer butt over here and change us back or I'm'a suck all yer blood out!" He then pointed to Gill. "And you! Man up! Stop yellin' like a five year old girl!"

"Yes Mommy..." Luke said sadly as he waved his hands. "Moto ni modoshite ningen ni..."

We changed back into humans. Thank goodness.

"That was fun!" Luke said. Vaughn did a facepalm.

"Now then..." Sylvester said. "How about I give you all a tour of the house?" We said yes.

So he and Zombie Carl led us up the stairs to some rooms in the house. The first door led to the library with tons of shelves filled with books. The second door was the dining room, the third door was the kitchen, and the fourth door... he paused when he got to the fourth door.

"Well?" Skye asked. "Where does the fourth door go to?" Sylvester reached for the doorknob, but hesitated. He stayed frozen for a few seconds, probably wondering if he should show us or not.

Then he opened the door with a _creeeeaaak_. Everything was covered in dust, from the ceiling to the floor. An old grandfather clock sat in a corner. _Tick, tock. Tick, tock._ Right now, the clock read 11:49.

There was also a fireplace with a nice, toasty fire blazing in the hearth.

Carl walked inside the room and opened up a dumbwaiter in the wall. He climbed in and disappeared from sight.

I glanced at Vaughn. He seemed to know what I was thinking and nodded. We sneaked over to the wall.

"What are you guys doing?" Skye asked. We ignored him and tried to open the dumbwaiter. It was locked.

"Miss Juliet!" Sylvester called sternly. "What are you doing?" I only faintly heard him as Vaughn and I tried to pry the dumbwaiter open. I felt weird, like I wasn't myself. Like I was in a trance.

Finally, we were able to unlock the dumbwaiter. We climbed in, though it was kind of cramped, and began rising into another room.

When the dumbwaiter stopped, we stepped out. There were no lights. Instead, red candles blazed everywhere. On the vanity, on the cabinet, on the bed, on the floor, everywhere. I assumed the room might be a bedroom, but why so many candles?

The fire on the candles flickered, as if a gust of wind had gone by, casting tall, unnatural shadows on the wall and covering everything in a dark red and purple glow.

"We'd best be gettin' outta here," Vaughn murmured. I walked back to the dumbwaiter, only... it wasn't there. We had no chance of escaping. I told Vaughn.

"That can't be right," he said determinedly. "Every room has a door..."

Then I saw something. The shadows were moving. They were taking the shapes of humans and _moving_. Like real humans.

I stepped closer to Vaughn, and he stepped closer to me until we were standing back-to-back.

"I know this place..." he said in an oddly quiet, almost frightened voice.

Before I could ask what he meant, voices began to speak.

_"Welcome. We've been expecting you."_

_"You'll be staying for quite a while."_

_"Our permanent guests!"_

_"Never can you leave!"_

"Slaves forever!"

Faces appeared on the shadows. Sickly, malicious faces with jagged teeth and red eyes.

"Julie, don't move," Vaughn commanded in a quiet voice while he took out his lighter. He held it like a sword. The shadows backed away.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew through the room, blowing out the lighter's flame and all the candles, plummeting us into total darkness.

A drumbeat started playing. Loud, steady drumbeats coming from the floor.

As my eyes adjusted, I saw that voodoo dolls were drumming on the floor, using needles as drumsticks. Haunting voices came from every corner.

_"They're coming!"_

_"They're coming!"_

_"Look out!"_

_"Hide!"_

_"They're after you!"_

The voodoo dolls began chanting in an obscure language while the voices kept talking.

_"Look out! Look out!"_

_"Too late!"_

_"No way to escape!"_

_"Transformation! Transformation!"_

I was morphing into something, I could feel it. It was the same feeling I had when Luke turned me into a spider. I was paralyzed in fear.

_"Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!"_

_"They're coming!"  
_

_"Too late!"_

"Too late to help her!"

_"Too late to help yourselves!"_

_"You've met the end!"_

_"Goodbye!"_

_"Goodbye..."_

_**"YOU'RE TOO LATE TO HELP HER!"**_

I could hardly breathe. Colors flew around everywhere. And I still couldn't move. Everything had me hypnotized.

_"But what can you do?"_

_"There's only two of you!"_

_"What can you do?"  
_

_"There's only two of you!"_

All the voices morphed into one.

_**"What can you do if there's only two of you?"**_

_**"What can you do if there's only two of you?"**_

_**"WHAT CAN YOU DO IF THERE'S ONLY TWO OF YOU?"**_

My eyes rolled way back into my skull. Everything went dark.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: This was, oddly, a very fun chapter to write. I used some foreshadowing in this chapter. If you can give me a sentence of foreshadowing used in this chapter, you get a free chocolate chip Chips Ahoy chewy cookie! **\(^o^)/ XD **This was a pretty short chapter, but I wanted to leave a pause between this and the next chapter. So R&R and all that! Until next chapter, sayonara, addio, auf wiedersehen, au revoir, and goodbye!**


	10. The Ghost and the Scroll

**Author's Note: This chapter is going to include yet another OC of mine! A very clumsy yet very lovable and charismatic ghost! And I think I need to put up a warning for this chapter, for I am unfathomably bored. So here it is:**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SCENES OF INSANITY AND RANDOM-NESS. MAY CAUSE ONE, SOME OR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING:****  
MUSCLE/EYE TWITCHING****  
UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER****  
PROJECTILE VOMITING****  
DEATH BY PAPER CUTS  
BAD DIARRHEA**

**My writing almost always reflects my mood. Boredom leads to insane random-ness. So, on that note, read and enjoy! Or my shadow minions will get you... (insert evil creepy smile here)**

**XXX**

Something is glowing in the distance. A pale white light, pounding in rhythm.

I open my eyes. A pair of eyes is staring at me. His eyes are black and lifeless.

"Are you okay, miss?" he asks, but I'm too fazed to answer.

He asks again. When I don't respond, he pinches me.

And I open my eyes. For real this time. _So I was dreaming, _I thought. _What was that all about?_

I stood up and looked around. Nothing looked familiar. Stalagtites hung from the ceiling, dripping pink-tinged water. Cute little yellow spiders with black stripes crawled around everywhere. _Luke would love this place, _I thought.

Then, as if on cue, an earth-shattering shriek broke the silence. "SPIDERS! BEAUTIFUL MIRACLES OF THE WORLD!" Luke screamed. I jumped a foot in the air.

"You scared me to death, you idiot!" I yelled at him.

"Oh, come on!" he retorted. "You knew that was gonna happen! If you are the protagonist of a comedy story and think of something, it's gonna happen! For example, if you thought a cliff was gonna fall on you, it would!

Then, as if on cue, a cliff fell on him. I did a face-palm.

After a second, his head popped out from under all the rocks. A goofy grin was plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes and looked around some more.

Vaughn, Sylvester, and Zombie Carl were all standing in a group, talking about something, though I couldn't hear exactly what. Skye was sitting in a corner with his knees pulled up to his chest, shivering in fear. And Gill was on the floor, totally blacked out.

Carl spotted me and waved his hand, signaling that I should walk over to him.

I got up and walked to the group rather dizzily.

"Julie! Zombie Carl says he knows someone who can help us!" Vaughn said.

"Yes, but we will have to go dowsing for him," Carl explained. I asked what dowsing was.

"Dowsing is when you take two L-shaped sticks and walk around with them," Sylvester explained. "They cross when they find something, like water or minerals."

"Or ghosts!" Luke cut in. "Which is what we're gonna be dowsing for!"

Skye, who was still sitting in a corner, shuddered. "I just know something bad's gonna happen," he said.

Then, as if on cue (I think you're getting this by now, audience), a wall caved in, revealing very pale lights, just like in my dream.

"How could this get worse?" Skye asked himself.

Then, (say it with me, everyone)_**AS IF ON CUE **_(I hope you've got it by now), water poured down from the ceiling. I looked up. Luke was hanging from the ceiling on spider's thread with a huge bucket of water.

_"Luke! I am soaked!" _I screeched. Luke grinned in his goofy way.

"You're lucky! I dumped soda on Gill once!" he said.

"I am never going to forgive you for that, Luke!" Gill, who had somehow woken up from his spider-induced coma, hollered. "My poor buttocks chafed for hours!"

Sylvester cleared his throat. "If that is all, may I continue?" We were quiet. "Good. And Luke assumed correctly. We are going to be dowsing for a spirit."

Carl held up two L-shaped sticks and handed them to Vaughn, who began walking slowly around the cave. I trailed behind him. Luke trailed behind me. Gill trailed behind him. And Skye trailed behind him.

Suddenly, Vaughn stopped walking, causing us all to bump into each other.

He asked the dowsers, "Is this where the spirit is?"

The sticks crossed. A pale white mist settled over the ground. Then a body came up from the ground. A white, transparent body. A ghost.

Most people would think a ghost was just a white blanket with black eyes, but _this_ ghost looked just like a human, except he was transparent with black, lifeless eyes. Just like the ones from my dream.

"Hey, Artichoke!" Zombie Carl greeted the ghost. "Long time, no see!" They did some kind of handshake.

"Your name is Artichoke?" Skye asked.

The ghost chuckled. "My name is Logan, actually," he said. "But I was dubbed Artichoke by the Spirit Council." He turned to Carl. "So what, pray tell, do you need me for?"

"See, these nice folks accidentally got into this world," Carl explained, gesturing to me, Vaughn, and Skye. "And they need to know how to get out."

Artichoke nodded in understandment. A scroll appeared in his hand. He opened it up and began to read it.

_"Journey due North past this land_

_Until a faraway island is close at hand._

_When you're alone, but not alone_

_You will find help and an arch of stone._

_There's only one way 'cross the island's north beach:_

_The Otherworld's..."_

He stopped reading. "No, that can't be right..." he mumbled.

Skye grabbed the scroll from Artichoke and read it.

_"There's only one way 'cross the island's north beach:_

_The OtherWorld Council is what you must reach._

_Then beg from the Council the map of this land_

_To get to the portal in a place full of sand._

_But hurry and get there quickly, you must_

_For the portal closes tomorrow at dusk."_

Vaughn checked his watch. "It's mornin' right now. So we only got two days before that portal closes."

"Which will be extremely hard," Artichoke added grimly. "The OtherWorld Council is very stubborn."

"What's the OtherWorld?" Skye asked.

"This world," Artichoke replied. "But there's no time for questions, we have to get moving!"

"But I'm still drenched!" I complained, shooting a glare at Luke.

"Madame Natalie will provide you with clean clothes," Sylvester said, ushering us out of the cave door, with Luke, Gill, and Artichoke following behind us.

_**At Madame Natalie's Mansion...**_

"Oh, dear, Juliet, you're soaked!" Madame Natalie exclaimed when she saw me. She took me into her dressing room, with a large closet with lots of clothes. She told me to pick out an outfit that I liked, then she left.

I looked through the closet. Some of the clothes were brand-new. _Why would she have so many unused clothes? _I wondered, but brushed the thought away.

I finally decided on a long-sleeved raspberry-colored shirt and blue boot-cut jeans.

When Madame Natalie came in, she helped me comb the wet gnarls out of my hair.

Then me and Madame Natalie left the dressing room into the foyer. Vaughn tipped his hat down when he saw me.

"So are we ready to go?" Artichoke asked. I nodded determinedly and we were on our way.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: IT'S FINALLY DONE! THE TENTH CHAPTER IS DONE! I am so proud of myself for keeping with this story for ten whole chapters! And I must thank Anime Girl 593 and QueenoftheCatz for reviewing! Seriously, I might have given up on the story long before this if not for their reviews! And thanks to everyone who reads the story!**

**In the next few chapters, I might start adding in romance. Maybe. I'm not too good with that kind of thing. Whoever thinks I should add romance, say Aye!**

**~Arista**


	11. Randomness, Randomness, Randomness

**Author's Note: GASPS! IS THIS AN UPDATE FOR THE FORGOTTEN LIBRARY BY THE AUTHOR ARISTA DEJA? Everyone, go to your bathrooms and beat yourselves up with a bar of soap to see if this is real!**

**...Yeah, random, I know. I feel hyper today. HYPER-NESS IS AWEOSME! So, yeah. I ate too much candy. BUT, IN MY DEFENSE, STAR CRUNCH IS FRINKIN' GOOD! Anyway, here's 11!**

**P.S.: Please don't tell me you really beat yourself up with a bar of soap -_-**

**~Arista**

**XXX**

We all walked along through the swamp, chatting nonchalantly. Skye was flirting with Natalie, Natalie was telling him to screw off, Zombie Carl, Artichoke, Sylvester, Vaughn, and I were making fun of Skye, and Luke was annoying the crap out of Gill.

Then I saw a distant light.

"Hey, Logan, what's that?" I asked.

"I do believe that might be what we are looking for," he replied, quickening his pace. We all had to run to keep up with him.

Finally, we got outside. It appeared to be early morning here. Two moons hung low over the treetops. A mansion loomed over the land in the distance.

Luke took a small calendar out of his pocket. "HEY, GUYS!" he yelled. "IT'S MONDAY! TIME FOR MY MAYOR SPEECH!"

Vaughn's jaw dropped. "He's mayor...?"

"Sadly, yes," Carl said. "He and Gill had an argument about who would get more votes to be mayor. He won."

Luke ran to the mansion with me, Vaughn, and Skye following in disbelief.

Once we got to the mansion, Luke stood at a podium in the middle of a large room filled with people. We sat in a few open seats in the front.

"Attention, everyone, attention! Thank you. Okay, great to be back at the mansion, everyone!" Luke broke into his speech. "I had to help out a few tourists. So anyway. Briefly, I hate Mondays. Just _hate _'em. So, from henceforth, today shall be known to all as Tuesday. Got it? Happy Tuesday, everyone."

"Carl, did he get to the catnip again?" I heard Sylvester whisper to Carl.

After that, everyone clapped for Luke and exited the mansion. Once everyone was gone, Luke whispered something to Sylvester, who whispered something to Carl, who whispered something to Logan, who whispered something to Skye, who whispered something to Vaughn. Then they all went into another room of the mansion.

"Natalie, where did they go?" I asked. She said she didn't know. So I shrugged and walked around the mansion.

On one door, I found a sign marked 'Library'. I shrugged and walked inside, even though I had developed a small phobia of libraries.

There was a book laying on the table. The cover read: "_**Zaittho IV Creature Lore**__"_. I picked it up and read it.

_**Antewa**_

_A large airborne insect with the evolved ability to launch its stinger at prey. The Antewa is a highly agressive creature native to the planet Sainza. When food grew scarce there, the Antewa migrated here. This insect can propel the tip of its stinger up to twenty meters. The stinger tip regrows seconds after launch and contains an acute amount of poison, enough to kill prey, but not to kill humans or humanoids. It can hurt them or injure them, though._

_**Aqua Reaper**_

_A powerful aquatic tentacle. Similar in nature to the surface-based Reaper Vine, the Aqua reaper has adapted to its aquatic environment. Having no eyes, it relies on its expert hearing to seek prey. A scythe-like appendage on its tip is honed to lethal sharpness. The Aqua Vine will swing this blade wildly and fiercely at anything that enters its zone of perception._

_**Blastcap**_

_Volatile chemicals within this weed's toxic fungal cap may explode if agitated. The poisonous flesh of the Blastcap helps keep it from being eaten. It also detonates its fungal cap when it senses even slight contact._

_**Bweetle**_

_A burrowing insect with a resilient carapace. It is extremely aggressive. A Bweetle's massive mouth enables it to tunnel through solid rock at high speeds. Above ground, Bweetles can hover for a short while. They attack anything that moves near their lair._

_**Cantoza**_

_A glacial predator that reigns supreme in icy landscapes. Cantozi are hard to harm, though intense heat seems to have a lasting effect on them. Its belly is a weak spot, the only place on its body that isn't covered with deflecting armor._

I wasn't able to read anymore of the book, because a door swung open and I heard the guys' voices. I walked out of the library with the book in my backpack.

"...So then, one of the guys says, 'Hey, man, that's not your cheese!'" Skye was saying. "And it sounds like 'Nacho Cheese', right? Get it?" Then the guys busted out laughing.

Skye spotted me. "Oh, hi, Juliet! I was just explaining to the guys how Nacho Cheese was invented! Wanna hear it?"

"No. What happened to you guys?"

"All right, so a Mexican crosses the border into America, right? And he runs into a 'brothers' community, you know?"

"Skye, I don't want to hear the story! I want to know what happened to you guys!"

"And there's a huge tub of cheese with the brothers. And the Mexican ties a string to the tub of cheese and starts going back to Mexico, okay? And then one of the brothers says, 'Hey, man, that's not your cheese!' And it sounds like Nacho Cheese, right? Get it?" The guys cracked up again.

I turned to Carl. "What goes on here, Carl?"

"Oh, we just had a few pina coladas. Skye can really drink, you know? He almost beat Luke's record of 759!"

"You guys were drinking?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yup!" Vaughn answered. "Carl an' Sylvester an' Logan an' me only had 'bout five, but Skye had 'bout 742. Luke had... uh... I lost count."

"Hey, guys, did you know that Gill is extremely stupid?" Luke blurted out suddenly. "He doesn't even know what hard balls are!"

Gill stared at him like this: O_O

"It's a type of Pokeball from Pokemon," Luke explained.

"Natalie, _ma chère, _can I please have another drink?" Skye asked.

"Don't you _dare_ call me 'dear' again," Natalie threatened, cracking her knuckles, "or _**I WILL KILL YOU!"**_ She very nearly throttled him to death. Carl and Sylvester had to hold her back while she tried to claw his eyes out.

"W-well, let's all get going," Logan (aka Artichoke, but he had told us to call him Logan) said. "We have to get to the Jungles of Ove, then to the Mines. That will get us to the Council."

Skye raised his hand like someone would in school, looking oblivious to the fact that Natalie was trying to murder him. "What are the Jungles of Ove?"

"The Jungles of Ove are the jungles that we must pass to get to the Phazon Mines to get to the Council," Logan answered.

"Madame Natalie, please calm yourself!" pleaded Sylvester. "You can't kill him!"

_**"WHY NOT?" **_Natalie screamed, still trying to claw Skye to death.

"I'll get you a snow leopard cub if you stop trying to kill me," Skye offered. Natalie stopped and thought about it.

"All right, fine," she finally said. Then, "Hey... how did you know I wanted a snow leopard?"

Skye shrugged. "I don't know. I just kind of knew."

Logan grew impatient. "Can we please move on? There's a lot of ground to cover between here and the Portal."

Skye started skipping along like a little kindergarten girl. Vaughn shook his head. "Why do I have to have such a retard brother?" he muttered to himself. Then he followed. The rest of us followed him.

_**Later... [Yeah, it's a lame transition. I couldn't think of anything else.]**_

After a few hours of walking, we finally got to the Jungles of Ove. Skye was finally off his alcohol rush, but Natalie was still eyeing him warily.

"Everyone, be careful," Logan whispered to all of us except Skye. "We are approaching the Million Candies Orchard. DO NOT tell Skye."

"What are the Million Candies Orchard?" Luke asked, quite loudly.

Skye looked like he was about to make a bull-run to the gates of the Orchard. Natalie held him back by his waist. Logan smacked Luke.

"Well, now that Skye knows about it, thanks to some _idiot _whose name will remain anonymous-" he glared at Luke- "I can tell everyone about it. The Million Candies Orchard is a magic orchard where assorted candies grow on trees, flowers, et cetera."

"I WANNA EAT CANDIES!" Skye screamed like a baby.

Okay, so maybe wasn't completely off his alcohol rush.

Then a wispy white shadow hovered in front of the gate.

"If you want to enter, you must pass my little test..." a voice said. The white shadow morphed into a GIGANTIC spider.

Gill almost fainted.

"The test I have created is a test of honesty. You will all tell your deepest, darkest secrets to me and your companions. I can tell if you are lying, though," the spider said. "If you lie, I will not let any of you pass, and you will stay here until you rot. So, Luke, step forward. You're first."

Luke stepped forward. "I sleep with my teddy bear named Teddy," he said bravely.

The spider gave him a "Really?" look. "That's a lame secret. And it sounds kind of wrong," she said. "Next is Gill."

Gill stepped forward and breathed in a shaky breath. "I HAVE A MINI-SKIRT IN MY CLOSET!" he yelled.

"That's somethin' I'd expect from Luke," Vaughn said in disbelief.

The spider laughed. "Me, too. Natalie, you're next."

Natalie stepped forward and looked down. "I... I used to... to stalk someone..." she mumbled.

"Who?" the spider ventured curiously.

"...Pierre..." she said quietly.

"That weird shorty kid in class with the big purple top hat who loves to cook?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, her face practically burning up.

Skye started ROFLMAOing.

"_**THAT'S IT! SOMEONE HAND ME A MACHETE!" **_Natalie shrieked.

The spider ignored her tantrum. "Logan's turn."

Logan floated forward. "Ummm... let me think... I don't really have any secrets."

Spider nodded. "Zombie Carl."

Carl stepped forward. "I used to be a golfer."

"What kind of secret is that?" Spider asked. "Whatever. Sylvester."

Sylvester stepped forward with his hands in his pockets. "I'm a vampire," he said casually.

I almost fell down in shock. "What?"

"Sure. Wouldn't that explain the bat wings?" He thought for a second. "Hey! That would make me a necromancer _and _a neck romancer!" The guys started laughing again.

Okay, so maybe Skye wasn't the only one who was on an alcohol rush.

Spider rolled her eyes. "Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Juliet is next."

I stepped forward and thought. "Let me think... I ate a monkey's brain once!"

"Why would you eat a monkey brain?" Skye asked in disgust.

"I was walking through the forest and I found a monkey and I brought it home to keep it as a pet and a few days later we ran out of food 'cause the crops at the farm weren't growing so we had to eat the monkey and Dad gave me the brain to eat," I said.

"Weird..." Spider said. "Anyway, Vaughn?"

Vaughn stepped forward. "I don't have any secrets," he said.

Spider shook her head. "You're lying," she said.

Vaughn sighed. "Okay... I got hooked on soap operas once."

We all busted out laughing.

"Ain't my fault!" Vaughn yelled. "Skye was watchin' 'em, and I started watchin' 'em, and I got hooked. Least I ain't hooked anymore. Skye still is."

Skye's face reddened. "Am not!"

"Are too!" 

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

_**"AM NOT!"**_

_**"ARE TOO!"**_

_**"SHUT UP!"**_ Spider screeched. "Thank you. Skye, it's your turn."

Skye stepped forward and took a deep breath. "I have a teddy bear and I sleep with a nightlight and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks."

We all stared at him incredulously.

Spider put on some reading glasses and looked at the notebook she was writing this all down on. "Okay, I'm going to read this back to you and see if I got it right," she said. "'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with the light on and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks.'"

"You got it wrong," said Skye. "I said, 'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with a nightlight and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks.'"

"That's what I said!" Spider yelled.

"No," Skye replied. "You said, 'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with the light on and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks' but I said, 'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with a nightlight and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks.'"

"IT'S THE SAME THING!" Spider exploded. "'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with the light on and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks'!"

"YOU'RE STILL SAYING IT WRONG!" Skye screamed. "'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with a nightlight and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks!'"

Spider let out an earth-shattering scream and began throttling Skye. "THAT'S WHAT I FREAKIN' SAID, YOU STUPID, IGNORANT JACKASS! 'I have a teddy bear and I sleep with a nightlight and I read pop star magazines and Vaughn's right, I am addicted to soap operas and I still watch Sesame Street and my shirt is made of real snow leopard skin and I went to school in a pink frilly dress one time because I was sleepwalking and my hair is naturally silver but I die it sometimes to give it that shiny look and I think I have a very small tiny crush on Natalie and I used to want to be a cat because cats are freaking awesome and I once had a pet hamster but it bit me so Mom put our cat in the hamster's cage and once I got bit by a squirrel and I had to get the tetanus shot and I've never told anyone this but I like to go outside in the middle of the night and steal and I really really really really really hate cheerleaders and I really really really really really hate jocks and I can whoop any jock's butt because everyone thinks I'm weak because I look so skinny and underfed but I even beat up Vaughn once because he snitched on me to Mom about me sneaking into the living room at night and watching dirty soap operas and I have my own little world inside my head which is why I'm so scared of shrinks!'"

"_Now _you said it right!" Skye said.

Spider's left eye twitched and she put him down. "Okay," she said. "I have all the info I need. This should serve to be very useful in our experiments..."

"What experiments?" Vaughn shouted, but the spider was already gone.

Three sickly, malicious cackles echoed through the air. One was a female voice, one was a male voice, and one sounded just like... no, it couldn't be... could it?

While Skye and Luke started stuffing their faces with candy and Vaughn and Natalie tried to hold them back, I sat down on a bench made entirely of candy canes and licorice.

Sylvester put a hand on my shoulder. "Miss Juliet, I'm truly sorry you and your friends have to go through all this. We will do everything we can to help."

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

**XXX**

**Author's Note: Wow, this is probably the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope it makes up for all the time you guys have had to wait. So, I felt like ending it there, since my hands and rear are starting to go numb. Numb Hands + Numb Rear = Numb Mind.**

**A lot more people are reading/reviewing! I feel so loved! *insert sentimental sob here***

**Ahem. Anyway. I HAD TO TRADE IN MY DSI! WAAAAAAAAHH! WITH ALL MY HARVEST MOON GAMES! AND I NEVER EVEN GOT TO WAIT UNTIL TWIN VILLAGES CAME OUT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!**

**My dad said he was going to make a car company called Uranus, and the song for it was gonna go like this: Take a dive like Greg Luganus (who is a gay swimmer/diver)! Come over and drive Uranus! I LMAO'd when he said that **XD

**Why am I ranting about all this? Must be the hyper-ness. It's a pretty bad sign when you're arguing with yourself and you actually **_**lose.**_** Boohoo.**

**So, about the story. I'm really running out of ideas here. If you happen to come up with a nice idea for this story, I'd love to hear it. Anything's welcome, as long as it's appropriate. Lots of thank-yous in advance!**

**So... that's all I've got to say here. Until next chapter, bye!**

**~Arista**


	12. The Lyalum Cup

**Author's Note: PRAIIIIIIIIISE GOD! I HAVE UPDATED! XD  
**

**XXX**

"SO THAT'S WHY ALPACAS ARE TOTALLY BETTER THAN LLAMAS 'CAUSE THEY'RE JUST COOL LIKE THAT AND THEY BRING IN MORE PROFIT! ! !" Skye yelled at a thousand MPH.

"Skye, ya don't know how close I am to killin' ya," Vaughn said.

"So, Logan, where to next?" I asked.

"To the Phazon Mines," he replied.

"Wuh rr Hahoh Hiheh?" Skye asked, though we couldn't understand him very well because his mouth was full of chocolate.

"Well, first of all, Phazon is a kind of electric mineral. Very small crystals are used to power electrical things, such as televisions, stoves, and phones. The Phazon Mines are the place where traders mine these crystals to sell," Logan explained to us, seeming to understand what Skye said. "And we should get going soon."

"Hoh oh," Skye said, taking off his leopard-print jacket and dropping candy in it. "Le mi hau uuh!"

Vaughn heaved an annoyed sigh and pulled Skye by the hair, picking up his jacket on the way.

"Ow! Hey, let go!" Skye whined.

"Stop squirmin'," Vaughn ordered coldly.

Skye complained about his hair all the way to the cave where Logan was leading us to.

The mouth of the cave was huge. Pink-tinged water covered the ground, and the stalagtites dripped blood.

"There is no way I'm going in there," Skye said once Vaughn let go of his hair.

"I'm not doing it if Skye's not doing it!" Luke yelled.

"Oh, you're doin' it," Vaughn said threateningly to Skye.

"That's what she said" Luke said. Vaughn shot him an icy glare, then turned back to Skye.

"You're goin' in that cave, or I'ma tell Ma you're gay."

"You wouldn't!"

"Ya really think I wouldn't?"

"But that's a lie! I am so not gay!"

"Pfffft! Now _that's _a lie!" Natalie laughed.

Skye's lower lip quivered.

"You guys are a riot," Carl said. "Really. I'm having a blast here."

After another... _small_ dispute, we entered the cave. The cave had pools of glowing, electrical crystals, which caused unnatural shadows to loom on the wall. It might just have been my imagination, but one of the shadows actually looked like a human hanging from a stalagtite.

"This place is spooky," Skye whispered, putting his jacket back on.

"No shit, Sherlock," Natalie hissed back. Skye pouted again.

"Quiet!" Logan ordered softly. "We don't want to disturb them."

"Who?" Skye asked.

Logan hesitated. "Well... this isn't the best place to explain, but I'll try when we get out of this cave."

Vaughn looked at one of the crystal pools a little nervously. "So, uh, what would happen if one of us fell in those?"

"You would probably die," Logan said. "If not, you would be mentally ill for the rest of your life.

Skye shuddered. "This place is scary."

Natalie slapped him. "We've already established that, Skye."

"Don't slap me!" Skye yelled at her.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Natalie shot back.

"Shut up!"

"_You _shut up!"

Vaughn slapped Skye. "Seriously, shut up."

"Why's everyone slapping me? !"

Someone cackled.

"What was that?" Skye whispered.

The person cackled again.

"Dammit, who's laughin'?" Vaughn yelled.

A girl hovered down from a stalagtite right behind Vaughn. "'Twas me."

Vaughn swirled around in surprise and tripped, landing in a Phazon pool. Vines shot out from the ground and pulled him into the ground.

"HOLY SHIZ!" we all yelled.

Then Vaughn shot out from a crack in the ground and landed face-first in the rocks.

"Vaughn?" I asked fearfully. He got up, twitched a bit, and collapsed again.

The girl started laughing her butt off. Sylvester grabbed her arm.

"Yvette!" he yelled. "Should have known 'twas you! What was that for?"

"Just a little entertainment. It gets boring around here, you know," the girl answered. "Oh, that was hilarious!"

"You could have killed him!"

"Oh, relax, I checked his Cyzum reading before I did it." She took out a small phone-looking thing and held it out for Sylvester to take. Sylvester took it and held it in front of Vaughn.

"What's a Cyzum?" Skye asked.

"It's a magic reading," Sylvester explained to us, except for Vaughn, since he was still face-first into the ground. "If you have a strong Cyzum reading, you're less affected by magic items and you might even get a secret power."

"So does that mean Vaughn has a magical power?" I asked.

"Not sure," Sylvester answered. "We won't be able to tell unless he uses a power."

"Hyng, gnys, ff ou hceel nk ou gngtt nlctrcrtrtry gning frng ur bdy, ds dzzt eanm ou gtt mm mmgc pwr?" Vaughn mumbled through the rocks.

Skye pulled his face out of the ground. Vaughn spit out some sand and pebbles.

"Excuse me?" Sylvester asked. "I didn't quite get that."

"I said, if you feel like you got electricity going through your body, does that mean you got a magic power?" Vaughn repeated.

"It might," Sylvester said. Vaughn twitched again.

"Hey, are you guys coming to the Arena?" a male voice asked.

"Sorry, Rocky, we can't," Sylvester said to the voice. "We have to take them to the Portal."

"Awwww..." the voice complained.

"Who keeps talking? !" Vaughn yelled.

Another person lowered down from another stalagtite. It was a guy who looked exactly like Sylvester, except with more unruly hair.

He raised his hand like a kindergartener, like Skye would. "Sylvester, can we introduce ourselves?"

"Go ahead," Sylvester said, a little fearfully.

"Okay! My name's Rocky," the boy said. "Sylvester's my twin brother! And she-" he pointed to the new girl- "and she's Yvette, my twin sister!"

Meanwhile, Sylvester was hiding behind Yvette, shaking to death. "OMHG please get him away DX!" he yelled.

Yvette looked over her shoulder. "You wuss," she told him.

Sylvester pouted. "Not my fault he tried to flatten me and feed me through a paper shredder..."

"Oh, I remember that!" Rocky yelled. "I ran you over with Dad's tank, didn't I?"

"Don't remind me," Sylvester shuddered.

Rocky ignored his disgust. "Will you guys _pleeeeaaaaaase _join the race today?"

"What race?" Vaughn asked with some interest.

"It's awesome!" Rocky yelled. "You get to ride on Lyalum Buzzers and fly around in the Arena!"

For some reason, I felt like checking the book I had got from Luke's library. I got it out of my backpack and flipped to the **L **section.

_**Lyalum Buzzer**_

These vampiric, winged creatures are mostly nocturnal, but a special medicine can be used to keep them awake during the day. They are sometimes captured and trained to be racers in events like the Lyalum Cup. The needle-like points on their snouts are sharper than javelins, and contain mild poison. The Lyalum Buzzers use them for defense and for sucking blood.

_So that's what a Lyalum Buzzer is, _I thought. _I'm learning more about this place every minute._

My thoughts were interrupted by Carl. "Oh, I love the Lyalum Cup!" he said. "Couldn't we spare a few hours to enter?"

Logan thought it over. "Well, I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in it..."

"Is it anything like horse-back riding?" Vaughn asked.

"Yes and no," Sylvester replied. "It's sort of like a horse, except it flies."

"Very well," Logan said. "I suppose we can enter."

"Wait," Rocky said with a sly grin. "Can we take some crystals with us for good luck?"

"Sure," Logan said, sort of puzzled. We stooped down to the edge of the Phazon pools and grabbed a few crystals...

**_Later..._**

"You'll have to hold on tight to the reins," Logan told Vaughn once he was in the saddle on the Lyalum Buzzer. We were in the grand arena, where thousands of people were seated on the bleachers. The walls almost vibrated with the buzz of the crowd and of the Lyalum Buzzers.

"Now, Juliet, you get on," Logan instructed. I got in the saddle and wrapped my hands around Vaughn's waist.

The Lyalum Buzzers were like giant versions of a cross between a bat and a mosquito. It had bat wings and a mosquito's blood-sucking tube-looking thingy on its snout.

I looked around. Lots of Lyalum Buzzers were scattered around the arena, with two people saddled on each, with the exception of one. I saw Skye and Natalie on one of them. Natalie was in the front seat, and Skye was in back with his hands around Natalie's waist. Natalie looked like she wanted to die.

"Remember," Logan warned, "in this race, anything goes. Even knocking you off your Buzzers or cutting you with the Lyalum's nostril thingy. If you're low on energy, go to one of the tanks on the ground and have your Lyalum drink from it."

"How do we know if our energy's low?" I asked.

"You see the board up there?" Logan pointed to the big sign board near the top of the arena. "That displays all the information of the Buzzers."

"And what are we supposed to throw to the other guys?" Vaughn asked.

"Well, most people use their powers, but since you guys don't have any powers, you'll have to use the projectiles handed out by the attendants on the ground." Logan pointed to a few people on the ground holding buckets of vegetables, darts, and other stuff.

_"Now, then, sports fans and fanatics, it's almost time for the race to begin!"_ the sportscaster announced. _"If all the racers would be so kind as to get into places at the starting line..."_

Everyone who was racing flew to the starting line.

_"Thank you very much! Today we have some all-new contestants, sports fans, please look up at the board, if you would... Our new contestants today are actually human teams!"_

On the board was a picture of everyone who was racing.

_**First Team**_

_Front: Sylvester (vampire)_

_Back: Logan (ghost)_

_**Second Team**_

_Front: Rocky (vampire)_

_Back: Yvette (vampire)_

_**Third Team**_

_Front: Nathan (knight)_

_Back: Layla (flower princess)_

_**Fourth Team**_

_Front: Vaughn (human)_

_Back: Juliet (human)_

_**Fifth Team**_

_Front: Christian (ghost)_

_Back: Rachel (ghost)_

_**Sixth Team**_

_Front: Natalie (humanoid)_

_Back: Skye (human)_

_**Seventh Team**_

_Front: Witch Princess (evil princess)_

_Back: N/A_

After we all looked to the board, a large wasp-looking thing dropped down, holding a traffic light. It flashed red, then yellow, and finally green.

"Watch where you put those hands," Natalie warned Skye, then we were off!

Random things started flying around, things like sharpened metal flowers, scythe blades, black orbs, and other stuff.

One of those sharpened metal flowers came whizzing past us. Vaughn dodged at the last second.

"WTF was that? !" he yelled.

"YO, VAUGHN AND JULIE!" a voice yelled from above. No, it wasn't God, it was Rocky. "THROW SOMETHING AT THOSE DANG JERKS!"

I shrugged and threw a crystal. It turned into a fire orb and nailed Layla in the arm. She yelled and dropped the flower Frisbee she was holding.

"Good job, Miss Juliet!" Sylvester called out, twirling a tornado on his finger. He let it loose and it threw Christian off his Buzzer.

"This is cool!" Vaughn said. He took a crystal out of his pocket and threw it. It turned into a lightning bolt. Nathan got electrified by it.

_"Well, it looks like Team 1 and Team 4 are teaming up!"_ the sportscaster announced. _"Let's see how strong they are together!"_

Skye threw a crystal, which turned into an ice crystal and cut the Witch Princess's arm. She snarled and threw a black orb at him. His Buzzer swooped down before it could hit, but Skye fell off, landing right on top of Yvette.

"F OFF" she yelled at him, smearing blood all over his face.

"This race is weird," Vaughn said, throwing more lightning bolts.

"IT'S AWESOME!" Rocky yelled, throwing smiley faces at everyone that covered their faces and blocking their view.

The race when on like this, packed with full-on wild action, blood, falling, bruises, and dodging and swerving, for about a half-hour. Sylvester threw tornadoes, Logan threw rabid squirrels, Rocky threw those little yellow smiley faces, Yvette threw blood orbs, Nathan threw swords, Layla threw the sharp flower Frisbees, Vaughn threw lightning bolts, I threw fire, Christian threw scythes, Rachel threw bunnies with bows and arrows that threw hearts, Natalie threw ninja stars, Skye threw ice crystals, and Witch Princess threw those magic black orbs.

_"The race is almost over, sports fans, and, surprisingly, it looks like the new contestants, Vaughn and Juliet, are winning! Can they keep it up for the remainder of the race?"_

Just then, a bunny came up and knocked Vaughn off the Buzzer, leaving me to steer.

I never imagined it was so hard. You had to let go of one hand to throw things and dodge what people threw at you, and all the while the Buzzer was shaking like crazy and almost crashing into things. Then it got low on energy and you had to take it down to the ground for it to drink and all the while you had to watch out for people throwing more stuff at you. But, on the whole, it was pretty awesome.

I must have been doing pretty awesome, because someone in the audience yelled, _"Go, Juliet!"_

Then more of the crowd started cheering me on. _"Juliet, Juliet, Juliet, Juliet!"_

And at the end of the race, I was the one who won. The crowd went absolutely crazy, cheering so much that the arena sounded like it was gonna fall.

I parked the Buzzer on the ground and ran over to Vaughn. To my surprise, he picked me up and gave me a hug. When he set me down, our eyes met, and we smiled.

"DAMN THAT WAS FREAKIN' EPIC! ! ! ! !" Rocky yelled. A man came out of a doorway and handed me a trophy. Me and Vaughn held it proudly for the crowd to see. They cheered wildly.

Yvette frowned. "I didn't win... I win almost every year..." She glared at me and Vaughn. "This is all your fault." Then she flew off.

I blinked. "What's up with her?" I asked Sylvester.

"She loves to win in everything she does," he replied. "If she doesn't, she gets very angry."

Logan came, too. "We should really get going now."

"Why are you so nervous about this?" Skye asked him.

"Not a good time to explain, Skye," Logan said, a little annoyed.

Skye shrugged.

So we walked out of the arena, me and Vaughn holding the trophy, hand in hand.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: Yeah, sucky chapter, I know, but I was having writer's block... Boohoo ;A; Plus, I felt like I should update ASAP for you guys. I'm a very mean author ;A; I was playing too much Lego Indy... then my annoying little sister broke it... boohoo... TT^TT**

**Anyway, all those new characters I introduced are going to have something to do with the story (except for the guy handing out the trophy). And this chapter was basically just to introduce everyone's new powers because I thought it would be cool if they had powers... plus, I liked the idea of them having a race... and about the ending, I just felt like that could be a little heartfelt moment between Vaughn and Juliet. You guys DID want romance, anyway.**

**I HAVE A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE! THERE WILL BE...**

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**(duh duh daaaa)...**

**A SEQUEL! A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY! ! ! ! ! ! Once I'm done with it, anyway. I thought I was gonna make a sequel even before I was writing this chapter, but the idea got finalized when I had a dream last night. It was an awesome dream that I am going to reveal when the time comes. And the sequel is gonna be even awesome-er and random-er than this one! XD  
**

**R&R! I'm hoping to get 50 reviews for this story by the time it's finished... which will be sometime around Christmas 2014... LOL not really, but, you know. Only some twenty reviews left, I think! So contribute!**

**~Arista **;)**  
**


	13. A Tea Party Full of Gayness

**Author's Note: LE GASPPPPPPP AM I REALLY UPDATING SO SOON? ! YESSSSSS 8D I got so excited about this story once I got the basic idea for the sequel. So I am trying to finish the story ASAP so I can actually _write _the sequel XD IT'S GONNA BE FREAKIN' EPIC! There will be a bunch of new characters, a new, epic-er villain, and a boot camp led by Vaughn 8D**

**Anyway, read up!**

**XXX**

"OMFHG I AM EFFING HUNGRY" Skye whined like a kindergartener... except kindergarteners don't cuss.

Vaughn rolled his eyes. "Do you really have to complain about everything, Skye?"

"You can really be bitchy sometimes," Skye muttered.

"Says the gayfer."

"I AM NOT GAY"

"Denial~"

Skye: STFU

Vaughn: I dun feel like it.

Skye: You better!

Vaughn: Or what?

Skye snatched Vaughn's cowboy hat and put it on his head. "Or you're never getting you're hat back."

Vaughn: YOU GAYFER

Skye: No more hatty-watty for Vaughnie-waughnie~

Vaughn: YOU EFFING GAYFER

Skye: I'm not the one never getting my hat back~~

Vaughn: YOU STUPID UGLY M-EFFING GAYFER

"Hey, you boyth!" a voice yelled sharply, but with heavy lisp. "There will be no cuthing at my tea party!"

"WTF" Skye and Vaughn said. Vaughn grabbed his hat.

We all looked up. There was a big, shredded windmill on a hill, and under it were three tables with white tablecloths covered with tea cups, plates, and bowls. Seated at one of the chairs was a... person... with purple hair, heart earrings, lots of jewelery, and purple pants. Sitting next to the... person... was a guy with peach hair, purple eyes, hair clips, an apron, and eyeliner. Sitting next to _him _was Yvette, looking quite annoyed and bored. I can understand why. She was wearing a pink lolita dress and two pigtails. She spotted us.

"PLEASE HELP ME" she mouthed beseechingly.

Then the... person... saw us. The... person... walked across the table to us. "Like, OMHG, girlfriend," the... person... told me. "That outfit ith, like, THO, like, dirty! Wanna come inthide and get another one?"

Before I could respond, he took me by the hand and led me inside the windmill. I was surprised to see there was a whole house in there.

"Okay, tho, like, choothe an outfit you like," the... person... said, then the... person... left.

I skimmed through the closet of clothes, but there were only dresses and miniskirts. I groaned. But I had to choose one, so I did eenie-meenie. I landed on...

...

...

...

...

a sparkly pink miniskirt DX

So I had to put it on ;A;

And braid my hair TT^TT

...

OH, THE AGONY! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! WAAAAAAAAAHHH! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! TT^TT

**_

* * *

_**

When I came out, all the guys' jaws dropped. Especially Vaughn's.

"What happened...?" he asked.

"I feel so violated TT^TT" I cried.

"Now it'th the guyth' turnth," the... person... said happily. The... person... herded all the guys into the windmill... well, except for Skye, but he doesn't really count.

"Hey, Julie," he whispered.

"What?" I whispered back.

"Five guys in a closet," he whispered. We howled with laughter.

* * *

"HOLY EFFING SHIZ I FEEL SO FREAKIN' VIOLATED TT^TT" Vaughn wailed. He was wearing a black tux and dress pants. He didn't have his hat. Behind him, the other guys didn't look to happy, either, except for Luke. But when wasn't he happy?

Rocky was looking at his suit with disdain, Sylvester was rolling his eyes, Logan was groaning, and Gill just looked like the uptight sourpuss he always looked like.

The... person... ignored their complaints and sat them down at the table. "Would you all, like, like thome tea?"

Vaughn and I shook our heads real fast.

"NO I WANT CHOCOLATE" Skye yelled like a five-year-old.

We stared at him like this: -_-

Skye pouted again.

Sylvester grabbed a tea pot and cup and calmly poured hisself some tea.

"Anyone wanna hear a scary story?" he asked, sipping his tea daintily. We all nodded.

"Okay... Let me think... One day, there was a girl. When evening fell, she went to sleep. But at about midnight, the girl heard a strange creaking sound. She checked under her bed, and her dog licked her cheek. She went back to bed. But a few minutes later, she heard the noise again. She looked under her bed again, and her dog licked her again. She petted his shaggy fur and climbed back in bed again. Then, for the third time, she heard the noise, this time coming from the hallway."

"Oh, gosh," Skye said nervously. "I think I can guess where this is going..."

"So the girl went to the bathroom. There, she found her dog in the bathtub... with a knife through its stomach."

We all gasped.

"She whirled around and saw words written on the bathroom mirror in blood: Humans can lick, too."

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG" Skye started spazzing out.

"The girl ran outside, into her car. When she looked through the dusty windshield, she saw a man. He had her mother's head in his hook hand."

We all shuddered.

"And, in his regular hand, he was holding..."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

(dah dah duuuuuuh...)

"The car keys."

"OH, CRAP!" we all screamed. To be honest, the story wasn't that scary, but Sylvester was a great scary-storyteller.

"That... was... EPIC!" Vaughn yelled after his initial shock. "I LOVE scary stories!"

"OMG I LOVE SCARY STORIES TOO! ...At Julius's tea party ;)" Skye said.

"Well, _I _love drinking coffee... at Julius's tea party ;)" Rocky yelled.

"COFFEE FTW \(^o^)/"

"ANYWAYZZZZZ..." Luke said as he drank his tea in one swallow. "AUUUUUUGHGHGHGHGH! I BURNED MY TONGUE! ...At Julius's tea party ;)"

"...You're strange" we all said.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: GODDAMN THAT WAS HARD. IT TOOK ME HOURS TO FIND A GOOD ENDING. So I just decided to use that one. LOL it sucks, I know. And that story is gonna be a main point in the... well, I'll give y'all a word search to find what it's gonna be a main point of.**

****

**FIND THAT, SUCKAHS! XD**

**Anywhoz, hmm... what else to say... uh... Okay, I'm not sure what else to say here, except help me get 50 reviews! I'm countin' on y'all! Peace! d(^o^)b**

**~Arista  
**


	14. CRACK CINDERELLA 8D

**_On one beautiful sunny day, inside a little house, inside a room of the house, was a girl, guiding Mario and the Pixls through strange realms, trying to save them from The Void._**

**_"Miss Arista..." a voice called. The girl looked around, surprised that someone had used her FFN name. But, when she saw no one, she returned to Super Paper Mario._**

**_"Miss Arista..." the voice whispered again._**

**_"WHO'S DOING THAT? !" the girl yelled._**

**_"This is Sylvester..." the voice said._**

**_"And Rocky too!" another voice hollered. "Dudette! What are we gonna do for the next installment of FL?"_**

**_The girl blinked. Were her OCs really speaking to her?_**

**_"Yes, we are speaking to you," Sylvester said. "SO START UPDATING! WE WANT TO GET TO THE SEQUEL!"_**

**_"OMIGOSH THE STORY!" the girl yelled, saving her game and rushing to the computer. "I TOTALLY FORGOT! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!"_**

**_Then the Procrastination Bug came down and hovered over the TV. "Haley! I am the Procrastination Bug!" the bug said in a squeaky voice. "Play Super Paper Mario! Mario's in trouble!"_**

**_The girl swatted at the bug. "Nuuuuu! I have to update!"_**

**_The bug kept bothering her. "Play Wii! Play Wii!"_**

**_"NO!"_**

**_"YES!"_**

**_"NO!"_**

**_"YES!"_**

**_It continued on like this for a long time, until the bug left and the girl was left in peace to write._**

**

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**

**That is my excuse for not updating. I know it wasn't a long time, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to write the sequel so I have to update quick.**

**Ever since my sister broke Lego Indy, I've been asking my dad for Super Paper Mario, and he got it for me a few days ago. Now I'm addicted to it. -sighs-  
**

**-puts on reading glasses and gets a book- Now, today we shall be reading the classic fairytale of Cinderella...**

**THE CRACK VERSION 8D XD**

**XXX**

"Okay, everyone, like, get into platheth!" Julius said, clapping his hands for attention. "We're, like, going to be reenacting the, like, totally thuper Thinderella! Juliet will play Thinderella-"

I groaned.

"-Vaughn will play, like, the thuper thexy Prince-"

Vaughn almost died.

"-Yvette and Natalie will play the, like, totally mean thtep-thithterth, Luke will be the thtoryteller, and Thylvethter will be the cameraman!"

"Who's gonna be the step-mom?" Vaughn asked, looking kinda ticked off.

"And the fairy godmother?" Skye added.

"You guyth will thee in time," Julius said. "Now, get into your platheth!"

**_Couple Hours Later..._**

_"__Once upon a time, in a place called Waffle Kingdom-"_

_"Nuuuuuu!" Juliet yelled. "It's SUNNY kingdom!"_

_"Why? !" Luke screamed._

_"CUZ THAT'S WHERE I LIVE!" Juliet screamed back._

_"WELL, I'M THE STORYTELLER!"_

_"WELL, **I'M **THE MAIN PERSON ACTING SO GET USED TO IT!"_

_"Would you all thtop yelling and get on with the play?" Julius asked, annoyed at the interruption._

_"...Good point."_

Juliet (who, for the remainder of this play will be referred to as Cinderella or Cindy) came waltzing up the stage in her simple work clothes with a bucket and sponge. She got down on her knees and began scrubbing the floor under the watchful and disapproving eyes of her two stepsisters and stepmother.

_"Though Cinderella was very sweet and fair, she was enslaved by her wicked Stepmother to work for her and her daughters, Yvette and Natalie."_

Julius, Cinderella's stepmother, began ranting about how useless Cinderella was. "My gosh, Thinderella, you're tho utheleth! I wish I hadn't even taken you under my wing!"

Poor Cinderella stood up. "I'm trying my best, Stepmother, but it's hard to clean the floors when you're stupid dog keeps laying his _piles _on it!"

Her stepmother stood up-

_"Luke," Gill said._

_"Yeah?"_

_"You do know Julius is a GUY, right?"_

_Luke blinked. "He is?"_

_Gill nodded._

-to his full height. "Did you jutht call my dog thtupid? You should have more rethpect for your thtep-brother."

Cinderella blinked. "Weren't you just my stepmother? What, do you command the elite forces of the universe?" Either that, or he had just had a magical gender change.

Julius slapped her across the face. "Don't uthe tharcathm with me, little thithter!"

Our protagonist rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs to her room, rubbing the red mark that her stepmother/brother had left on her face.

_"Cinderella sat on her sorry excuse of a bed, tears threatening to come out of her eyes. She wondered if there was a way to make all this end."_

Just then, the doorbell rang. Cinderella sprang out of bed and ran to the door. Standing there was a guy with matted black hair and bat wings. He was holding an envelope.

"A message from the king," he said, handing the invitation to her. She thanked him and walked back inside.

Now, her stepbrother/mother was giving music lessons to Yvette and Natalie, so she thought she shouldn't interrupt, but she did anyway.

Yvette was beating up Natalie for messing up her piano solo. Julius was trying to break up the fight.

"Remember, girlth, patienthe ith key," he was saying to them. When he saw Cinderella enter the door, he pounded on the piano keys. "What ith it? !" he yelled, sounding as threatening as a gay-sounding person could sound.

"Well, there's a message here from the messenger to the king," Cinderella said softly. Julius snatched it from her. "Oh, how lovely!" he twittered, sounding as gay as a gay-sounding person could sound. Which sounded pretty gay. "The, like, thuper thexy printhe ith having a royal ball tomorrow night!"

"Omigosh!" Cinderella said. "Can I come?"

"Of courthe not," Julius said. "You have nothing to wear."

_"Our poor protagonist (even though I don't know what that means) was devastated. If Julius said no, it was no. But what she didn't know was that she had her own fairy godmother."_

Cinderella ran to her room again, feeling lonely and sad. Then there was a crash from above. She experienced a a moment of irrational terror. Was Chicken Little in the neighborhood?

Then she saw a glowing light. "WTF" she said. Then it occurred to her that it might be her savior.

Until she got slapped across the face by a plastic wand. "Watch your language."

It was her fairy godmother! But- get this- it was a MAN.

"Okay, WTH are you?" Cinderella said.

"Who am I?" Gill repeated, sounding quite annoyed but trying doggedly to be cheerful. "Why, I am your fairy godmother! However, you may call me- Stop laughing."

Cinderella was currently ROFLMAOing, not paying attention to her new fairy godmother/father/brother/person in the least.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." she apologized. "B-but... BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

Gill glared at her. "Can we please get on with this? I'm on a schedule here."

Cinderella wiped a tear from here eye. "O-okay. Continue."

"Thank you. You may call me Gill."

Cinderella began cracking up again.

"OH, SCREW THIS!" Gill screamed, whacking her with his plastic wand. "THIS JOB SUCKS!"

A portly man hovered down through the hole in the ceiling. "Now, Gilligan, mind your manners."

"Gi... Gilligan? ! OMIGOD THAT IS RICH! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

Gill sighed, glaring again at Cinderella. "Yes, Father."

Cinderella's laughter died down. "He... he's your father?"

That's how Gill ended up having to take her to the Fairy Infirmary.

When they got back, they saw a boy with blue hair and cat eyes. He was wielding an axe.

Gill didn't even look surprised. "Put that axe down, you might hurt someone, Luke."

"Aw, Gill, you're no fun..." Luke whined, putting the axe down.

Then Gill turned to Cinderella. "Okay, so do you have, like, a pumpkin or some mice?"

Luke held up a potato. "Here's a tater!'

Gill twitched a few times. Then he began chasing Luke around the stage. "I'LL SAUCE YOUR TATER, DAMMIT!"

"Gilligan Gillian Gerald Cheshire Hamilton!" Hamilton called sternly. "Watch your language!"

"Wonder where Gill got it from..." Cinderella muttered sarcastically.

Gill, Hamilton, and Luke went behind the curtain. You could see blobs running around.

"OW! THAT HURTS!" Luke yelled.

"I'm just getting started!" Gill yelled back.

"That's what she said" Luke said.

You could hear the plastic wand whipping through the air.

"Father! Get off me!" Gill yelled.

"Gilligan Gillian Gerald Cheshire Hamilton! You had better apologize!" Hamilton yelled.

"Well. That's kinda awkward," Luke said.

Sylvester, who was currently behind the camera, held up a sign saying, "WE ARE CURRENTLY HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE BE PATIENT. THANK YOU."

"Good call, man," Cinderella said from the stage.

There was a pause.

Another pause.

Pause.

Pause.

...

"Did you know that in every awkward silence a gay baby is born?" Luke said.

"Luke, that's utter nonsense," Gill said.

_**On the Other Side of the World...**_

_***two parents are looking admiringly at their newborn baby boy, who is looking suggestively at another baby boy***_

Gill made a face like this: O_O

"I so told you!" Luke said smugly.

"When ith it our turn to meet the, like, thuper thexy printhe?" Julius asked.

"I do believe we ought to cancel this production," Sylvester said.

"THANK THE LORD" Vaughn said, then he turned to Sylvester. "I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY FOR SUGGESTING THAT... NO HOMO"

Sylvester blinked. "This is getting a bit too awkward for my liking. Goodbye, everyone~" Then he evaporated.

"RAPE DX" Gill screamed.

Rocky pulled down the curtains. There was Luke, kicking Gill where no guy likes to be kicked.

"... Make that WAY too awkward," Sylvester's voice said.

So everyone took a bow and walked off the stage as it crumbled to the ground.

* * *

"Well, that was fun," I said.

"Julie. Please tell me you're kidding," Vaughn said.

"You know," Natalie said, "it was kinda fun."

"OMG, like, high five for, like, totally thuper fairytaleth!" Julius said, holding up his palm for a high-five.

Everybody groaned.

**XXX**

**Author's Note: THAT WAS EFFING FUN TO WRITE 8D I just feel like doing filler chapters for a while. They're fun :D**

**OMG I JUST REMEMBERED I HAZ DONUTS IN THE KITCHEN... So peace out everyone! Till next chapter!**

**~Arista**

**P.S.- Go to Youtube and search 'Mad TV Honey Dipper Dan'. It is HILARIOUS XD**

**Okay, NOW till next chapter! :D**

**~Arista (again XD)  
**


	15. Foreshadowing of Stuff in Later Chapters

**A/N: Heeheehee... It's almost sequel time~****  
**

**Anywhoz, this is now officially gonna be the RRS: Review Reply Section!

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** To AnimeGirl593: I'm glad it was your fave chapter! It was my second fave. My first was the one where they got drunk off pina coladas and they were confiding secrets to that big spider thing and Skye was being the freakin' retard he always is XD**

**Arista: So, Xiana, if you get to be a princess in one of AG's screwed-up fics, would you want Sylvester to be the prince?**

**Xiana: YESSSSS~ -glomps Sylvester-**

**Sylvester: ^^**

**Arista: I KNEW U STILL LIEKD HIM**

**Xiana: -lets go- I DO NOT**

**Sylvester: That's all right. I'll just go off to a corner and sulk. -walks off to a dark corner-**

**Xiana: ... ARISTA! HE'S BEIN' A JEALOUS EMO!**

**Arista: WHATCHU TELLIN' ME FOR? !**

**Xiana: CUS HE'S YOUR OC!**

**Arista: WELL, HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND SO SCREW YOU! -they start fighting-**

**Sylvester: Well, considering Miss Arista is currently battling to the death with Xiana, I shall end this review reply thingy. -puts on the movie with the world exploding then THE END-**

**Arista: -still fighting with Xiana while the world fades away- Byeeeeee~ XD AND THAT'S THE BEST MOVIE EVER**

**AG: LOL right? !  
**

**Xiana: SCREW THE WHOLE WO- -everything fades away-**

**~Arista and our screwed-up PM friends XD**

**

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To Oh my Goddess: Aw, crap, I forgot to do the awknowledgiment thingies, didn't I? Dang, thanks for reminding me! So NOTE TO EVERYONE: That laugh gas thingy was from Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs and Zombie Carl's from MySims but I just love him so much and I HAD to put him in the story XD So, liek, sorry to MySims and IA:DotD and all. I just kinda forgot =**P **Really sorry! And, uh, if I forgot anything else, sorry for that too XD**

**

* * *

**

**If your reply wasn't put in here, it was either A: You entered it too late, sorry, =( B: I had nothing to say, but your review was most likely still awesome, or C: You didn't enter a review so screw you! ! LOL joking XD**

**So, from time to time, I'll be doing random fairytales at random times... when.. when I feel like it XD And sometimes I'll make up my own which will have disastrous results and explosive diarrhea XD EVERY GREAT HUMOR STORY MUST HAVE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND SLASH OR PROJECTILE VOMITING! And, considering I have already included projectile vomiting, I must include explosive diarrhea! XD**

**Now it's time to read! So go ahead~**

**XXX**

"OMFG THIS STUFF IS GODDAMN GOOD!"

Vaughn was currently face-first in a bowl of Rocky's 'Mystery Soup'.

Maybe I should tell you where we were first. We were all at the Moonlight Mansion, where Yvette and Rocky lived. It was a big mansion with tons of rooms. We were sitting in the dining room, eating whatever slop Rocky had 'proudly and excellently' cooked for us. Though the guys seemed to love it.

Vaughn, as you know, was buried in the soup, Skye was daintily nibbling the badly-cooked curry, Logan was happily chomping down the almost-raw steak, Sylvester was eating three-day-old pizza, Gill was picking at his black vegetables, and Luke... well, he was trying to eat Rocky.

When Vaughn lifted his face out of the bowl, his face was LITERALLY COVERED in brown goop and black veggies. His face was turning green.

Then he spewed in the bowl.

"Great!" Rocky mused. "Now you don't need a refill!"

Vaughn gagged and barfed again.

Skye ran to the bathroom.

"AAAAUUUUUUUGH OMHG MY FREAKIN' TUSHIE!" we could hear him yell. "THIS CONSTIPATION'S KILLING ME!"

Vaughn facepalmed.

Pause.

"Aaaaaaaah~ Sweet relief~"

Another pause.

"Why is there no toilet paper here?"

Yet another pause.

"Where the heck is the toilet paper?"

Yep, you guessed it, another pause.

"HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN THIS BATHROOM"

"Yeah, well, I kinda used it all up to TP someone's house..." Rocky said.

"I AM NOT COMING OUT UNTIL I GET SOME FRIGGIN' TOILET PAPER"

"So, lemme get this straight..." Yvette said. "You want us to go on a long and quite perilous journey through the dangerous worlds of Nanithm to get you some toilet paper?"

"EXACTLY!" Skye yelled.

"Fine by me!" Rocky said.

"Thanks, guys!" Skye said.

Yvette heaved a long sigh of annoyance.

Sooooooo... that's how we ended up stranded in the dark woods.

"When we get back, Skye's really gonna be a phantom," Vaughn steamed.

Then I found a roll of toilet paper in a bush. "WTF is a roll of toilet paper doing in the middle of the woods?"

"Maybe someone had to go, and they couldn't find an outhouse?" Rocky suggested.

Vaughn facepalmed again.

"Let's just get this over with," Natalie said, grabbing the toilet paper.

When we got back to the mansion, Skye was still in the bathroom.

_"I like big butts and I cannot lie~ You other brothers can't deny~"_ he was singing. _"Cuz when a girl walks in with a itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you-"  
_

"WTF are you singing?" Vaughn asked.

"Oh! You guys are here already? Uh... uuuh..." Skye was hesitating. "The, um..."

Vaughn facepalmed. Again.

"I think you might have a slapping and slash or hitting disorder," Rocky said matter-of-factly.

Vaughn smashed his forehead against the wall.

"Yeah, I think you do," Rocky said.

"Please -bang- help -bang- me -bang- somebody! -bang bang bang bang-" Vaughn said, slamming his head on the wall between words.

"Aww, it's okay, Vaughnie-waughnie~" Luke said, patting Vaughn on the back. "I know you're feeling sad."

Vaughn banged his head on the wall even harder. "Am I going to black out soon?" he asked desperately.

"Dude, stop being a creeper," Yvette said.

"With stalkerish tendencies!" Rocky added.

Vaughn commenced swinging a hammer at his head.

Luke and Rocky started to sing, for some odd reason. "The wheels on the bus go... uh... up and down, up and down, up and down!"

"That's what she said" Skye said from the bathroom.

"It's 'round and round', you twits =_=" Vaughn said, still trying to suicide himself.

"Ooh, ooh, I'll sing the next verse!" Skye yelled. "The girls on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down!"

"You guys are pervs," Natalie said.

"Thanks, babe!" Skye said.

Natalie twitched.

"We should all get a move on soon," Logan said.

"Dude, why are you hurrying us up so much?" Skye asked.

"You do realize there's less than a day to get to the portal, right?"

The portal! We had totally forgotten! There was only like 15 hours to get to whatever Council Logan was always talking about and get out!

"Skye," Vaughn said, putting down the axe that Luke had given him, "can you please wipe your ass so we can get the heck out of here?"

After a few seconds, Skye came out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper sticking out of his pants.

"What a freakin' idiot," Vaughn muttered.

Skye pouted again.

**Some Unknown Hours Later...**

We were all standing at the door of a building. At least, MOST of us were. Skye was hanging about ten feet back.

"You're so damn whiny, Skye!" Vaughn was yelling.

"I'm not going in there! It looks scary!" Skye yelled back.

"DUDE, STOP BEIN' A GAYFER!" Vaughn hollered. "YOU'RE STARTIN' TO SOUND LIKE JULIUS!"

Skye walked over, hanging his head. "Man, Vaughn's bein' pissy..."

"Well, now that that's settled..." Natalie began. She pushed the heavy doors open.

The inside of the building was kinda dark, but still light enough for certain things to be visible. It was a dark mansion with unlit candles everywhere. There was a skylight on the roof which let in what little sunlight was available.

"What brings you all here...?" someone asked. "We have not had visitors in years... Sylvester, is there a reason you let them into Nanithm?"

"Yes, Mistress," Sylvester answered obediently. "There is a possibility that these are the chosen ones."

"Mm, what a surprise. They certainly took their time getting here..." the girl purred. "I suppose I shall release Renee to give them the test..."

A girl flew in from the skylight. She circled around us, lashing her red cat tail every time she took a step. She had blond hair and a black dress, and bat wings, but they were red.

"Sylvester, you're not really serious, are you?" the girl said, though I knew she wasn't the same one as the girl talking to Sylvester earlier. They had different voices. "These people aren't fit to kiss the toilets we crap on."

Sylvester looked annoyed. "You've not even checked their Cyzum readings yet, Renee."

Renee rolled her eyes, but took out a phone-looking thing and scanned it over each of us. Her eyes widened when she checked it. "The... the levels are through the roof!" she exclaimed.

"What did I tell you?" Sylvester said triumphantly.

"Well, I'm certainly impressed, and I'm sure Ravianne will be impressed, as well."

As usual, Skye was the first to speak up. "Who's Ravianne?"

Renee's face shadowed. "You shall find out soon enough..."

**XXX**

**A/N: Yeah, I decided to split this chapter into two chapters just cuz I really don't have the calmness to be sitting down and just writing right now =**P **I'm too hyper now XD**

**Anyway, this story isn't gonna be continued for that much longer. It'll be over in about five chapters or so... or six or seven... or eight... maybe even nine... Something like that. Then we can start the sequel! I'M SO EFFIN' EXCITED 8DDDDD**

**Okay I'm tired of writing for right now so bye~~~**

**-Arista XD  
**


	16. Crack Fairytale Numba 2 8D

**HI PEOPLE 8D Been a long time since I updated...  
**

**So yeah, not gonna do review replys today cuz... I just don't feel like it... but you peoples who review and read and whatnot are awesome! Cuz then I know my writing is being appreciated :**)

**Today shall be installemnt 2 of fairytailses: Snow White and the Seven Creepers.**

**So read on and enjoy more insanity~  
**

**XXX**

"...so then Gina says to the other chick, 'What were you doing with my man?' and the other chick says, 'You saw it with your own eyes, b!tch!" and then she takes out a bazooka and points it at Gina and Gina gets all scared and stuff but the other chick actually shoots at the guy they were both dating and screwing who's actually screwing a DUDE then Gina and the chick start making out and the end!"

...See, this is what happens when you give a king-sized jumbo chocolate bar to Skye.

I looked around and saw what the others were doing. Vaughn was staring at his pocketknife, probably debating whether he should use it on himself or not. Sylvester was subconsciously combing his hair, looking cross-eyed and very much in pain. Rocky was trying to fit both of his fists in his mouth at a time to choke himself.

"Hey, uh, guys?" Skye said. "I'm done talking about the soap opera."

All the dudes busted out party hats and started partying.

Skye pouted.

Renee sighed. "Ok, since you're done, thankfully, I'll tell you what you have to do to see the Council... Reenact Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!"

"Ooh, thith thould be fun!" Julius appeared out of nowhere. "I love fairytailth!"

"AW DUDE" Vaughn yelled. "WE JUST GOT FINISHED DOING A CINDERELLA SPOOF"

"I don't care," Renee said indifferently. "Amuse me with a Snow White spoof or I will kill you."

"Stupid dumbarse piece o' bull..." Vaughn mumbled.

* * *

_**Snow White and the Seven Creepers**_

_"Once upon a time," Luke began to narrate, "in a distant place called-"_

_"SUNNY KINGDOM" Juliet interrupted._

_"No! We did that last time!" Luke yelled._

_"GET ON WITH THE EFFING STORY" Renee commanded._

_"...Right."_

Queen Wanda was a fair queen. She ruled over her kingdom with grace, treating everyone justly and distributing peace throughout Sunny/Waffle/IDK Kingdom.

All she longed for was a daughter. A daughter whose eyes were as blue as the sparkling sea, whose skin was white as snow, and whose hair was brown as a steaming turd in the toilet.

And soon, she got her wish. She gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

Her joy was short-lived, however, because she died a few days after the little baby was born. The woebegone kingdom fell into despair after that, for the king remarried to a wicked wo/man by the name of Julius.

Queen Julius had a hand mirror. It was a majic mirror. She would ask it questions, and it would respond. The question she asked most frequently was this:

"Mirror, mirror, in my hand. Who is the prettiest in the land?"

And the mirror would always answer like this:

"Oh, homo king, though pretty ye be, Snow White is prettier than thee."

And the queen would let out a blood-curdling scream that went something like this:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

Yeah. It wasn't pretty. Then she would make Snow White do some tedious work.

Today when the queen asked the mirror and got the same response as always, she commanded Snow White to clean the deep old well outside.

So Snow White took a rag and a cleaning bucket outside.

_"Wait, is this Cinderella or Snow White?" Gill asked. "Because it seems to me that it's gonna end up being another Cinderella spoof."_

_"It's not! This is gonna be totally great!" Luke assured him._

_"Who will be the dwarfs, though?" Renee asked._

_"You'll see."_

But the rag and bucket were just a disguise.

She was really planning to run away.

_"I TOLD YOU, YOU FAG!" Luke yelled at Gill. "IT'S NOT A CINDERELLA SPOOF!"_

_"STFU, LUKE!" Gill shouted back. "I HEAR YOU JUST FINE! And I thought the huntsman CHASED Snow White away from the castle."_

_"Not in this story!"_

_They started fighting._

_"This is gonna take a while..." Vaughn mumbled._

Snow White had devised a masterminded plot to escape the torture chamber that everyone called a castle. She would scale the walls surrounding the castle and run to the woods. There was a small cottage there that she could live in.

After a lot of work and falling and cuts and blood everywhere, she was able to climb the wall successfully. Then she ran and ran and ran to the woods.

The woods, as it turned out, were a vewwy vewwy scawy pwace for poor Snow White. There were bats and evil trees and skeletons jumping out at her from everywhere. Even Achmed the Dead Terrorist came to scare her. Though that would be pretty cool. You know, a puppet coming to life. Though that would be like Pinochio. Crap. I forgot how to spell his name. Boohoo sniffa sniffa tear tear.

But I digress.

Snow White finally made it to the cottage after a while. Or, rather, was DRAGGED there. Some dumbass deer thought she was gonna visit Cinderella and DRAGGED HER THROUGH A FREAKING LAKE to bring her to the castle.

"Stupid moose..." Snow White muttered. Cuz, you know, she wasn't very good with animals. Well, actually, she wasn't very good with much anything. So it would probably be kind of hard for her to live in a remote cottage surrounded by nothing but animals. Like the dumbass moose who thought she was gonna visit Cinderella and DRAGGED HER THROUGH A FREAKING LAKE to bring her to the castle.

Oh, wait, I told you that already. Sorry.

Anyways. She inserted her skeleton key into the lock on the cottage door. Cuz, you know, the Forest Patrol locks the door so no hobos can sneak in and wreck the place.

Oh, wait, there are no Forest Patrols. So who locked the door?

"So who locked the door?" Snow White wondered out loud.

**Hey, that's what I said.**

"Who said what?" she asked.

**Me.**

"...Who's me?" she asked.

**Me. I'm in the sky.**

She looked up.

**Don't bother looking. I'm invisible.**

"Oh."

Pause.

"...Are you the Harvest Goddess?"

**...Maybe...**

"Oh. Um. Okay."

Pause.

Long pause.

Long and quiet awkward pause.

Someone started singing. To the tune of the Double Rainbow song. Cuz, you know, it'd be not that cool if you knew the lyrics which I am about to tell you and didn't know the tune. And if you don't know the Double Rainbow song, shame unto you; look up Double Rainbow Song on Youtube. The lyrics went like this:

"Whoa, that's a long silence. All the way. Awkward silence, oh my gawd. Awkward silence. It's an awkward silence all the way. Yeah. Oh my gawd. What does this mean? It's so weird, so awkward. Awkward silence, awkward silence. It's so intense. What does this mean? It's starting to sound so very awkward. ...That's a long silence, man. Uh-oh!"

A group of about six or seven, I guess, joined the guy singing. "Awkward silence all the way! 'Cross the world! Yeah, ye-e-e-eah! Gay babies! Awkward silence all the way! 'Cross the world! Oh, wow, oh my gawd! Homo babies!" (BTW this is the chorus)

The group stopped singing. The lead singer started crying. "*cry cry cry* Awkward... silence... Oh my gawd! *cry cry sniff sob sob sob sob cry cry cry cry cry* Oh my gawd, it's full on! I can't imagine all the homos!"

The group joined in again and sang the chorus. (Yeah. Go back and read the chorus. Hahahahahahaha.)

Lead Singer: "Whoa! WHOA! That is the awkwardest fudging silence I've ever heard."

Group: *softer chorus (you know, they sing softer)*

END

"...WHUT THE F*CK WAS THAT? !" Snow White shouted.

A dude in a small clearing in front of the cottage flipped his silver hair. Tiny sleigh-bells on his bracelet jingled. "That was our awesome rendition of a parody of the Double Rainbow Song! We call it...

...

the Awkward Silence Song!"

"Oh, no shit, Sherlock," Snow White replied sarcastically. "And you're the only dude I've seen wearing purple skinny jeans. ...Well, besides Justin Bieber, but he's hardly a dude."

The silver-haired dude ignored the offending comment. Well, offending to Justin Bieber fans, which he was. "Yeah, my name is Skye. This is my band."

A dude with blue hair and an idiotic smile walked out from behind Skye. "I'm Luke!"

A prissy-looking blond stepped out. "I'm Gill."

A black-haired guy with a wild smile somersaulted around the cottage. "I'm Rocky!"

Another black-haired guy wearing all black flew up with bat wings. "My name's Sylvester."

A ghost-dude floated out. "I am Logan."

A cowboy with silver hair stomped out. "...Vaughn."

Snow White, who we shall now call Julie for the remainder of this story because I'm tired of typing Snow White, stared blankly. "..."

"Are you appalled by our awesomeness?" Skye asked.

"Um. Not really." Julie answered. "So are you guys like a boy band or something."

"No," Skye said. "We are a SEXY boy band."

"...That's pretty pathetic." Julie said blankly.

"Your mom's CHEST HAIR is pathetic," Vaughn retorted.

**LOLOLOLOLOLOL XD**

"WTF WAS THAT? !" Luke screamed. "Are you a ghost?"

"No, she's the HG," Julie explained.

**(I hope the HG doesn't decapitate me for this...)**

"Um, okay, so, who are you guys, really?" Julie asked. Gawd, she asks too many questions. Just saying. "Like, the Seven Creepers or something?"

"We prefer weirdos," Gill said emotionlessly.

"Creepers is so much better!" Rocky whined.

"DUDE YEAH 8D" Luke yelled.

Vaughn shot them all a glare, then turned to Julie. "Who are you? And what are you doing at our secret hideout?"

"Um..." Julie didn't know what to say. "I... well... please don't think I'm crazy or high or something... but I'm the princess and my stepmom hates me and I ran away from the castle."

The guys busted out laughing.

"Hey!" she yelled angrily. "It's true!"

Vaughn stopped snickering and took a look at her. "Ya know, guys, she does look like the princess, except kinda older."

"Well, yeah, I'm like sixteen now," Julie said.

"So are we!" Skye flashed her a grin. "I think you're pretty cool. You can stay with us!"

All the dudes stared at him.

"Yeah! She can, like, be a backup singer or something!"

Everyone started complaining.

"Aw, but she's a chick!"

"Chicks don't sing!"

"That'd be like Shamu auditioning to be Sunny Kingdom's Next Top Model!"

"I thought this place was Waffle Kingdom!"

"Well, mama lied to you all this time, Luke. Haha."

"You suck, Vaughn! You suck a fat one!"

"You suck a fatter one, Luke! And I know the impression of you and Gill!"

"What?"

"Up down up down up down!"

"Ewwww!"

"Hahahaha! Kissy, kissy, kissy~"

"Oh, yeah? Vaughnie and Skye, sittin' in a tree, F-U-C-"

"This is getting really graphic, guys..."

"Who says you get a say in this, girl?"

"I do, stupid cowboy!"

"Who you callin' stupid?"

"You! You and your stupid cliche country accent!"

"Pfft, your mama wears combat boots!"

"Ooh, ooh, my mama did!"

"Shut up, Rocky."

";A;"

"That was mean, cowboy!"

"Who asked you? You're the one comin' to the forest, tryin' to sneak in our house!"

"Oh, shut up! I already explained what happened!"

"QUIEEEEEEEEEET!"

Everyone stared at Sylvester.

"Can't we all just be friends?"

Everyone grabbed a stick and beat up Sylvester with it. Then he got up and grabbed a HUGE stick and beat up everyone else with it. Then they all got into a cartoony fight with just a big dust cloud and feet flailing everywhere and the cheesy punching sound effects.

Once they stopped, they sat down and asked questions about Julie.

"So you're really the princess?"

"People call you Snow White, right?"

"How come your stepmother hated you?"

"Yes, yes, cuz she's a b!tch."

"Okay, everyone, I've made my desicion!" Skye proclaimed. "Julie... can stay with us!"

All the dudes pouted.

_"This is nothing like Snow White!" Gill whined. "And why do I have to be a dwarf?"_

_"That's cuz it's a spoof, and because I said so," Luke answered Gill's questions._

_Gill pouted._

_"Yep, you make a great dwarf!" Luke mused._

_Gill did a pre-sob chin shake._

By this time, it was nighttime.

"So, what's for dinner, woman?" Rocky asked.

"I am not gonna dignify that with a comment," Julie snapped.

"I want some curry!" Skye cried. "I'm hungry!"

"OH MAI GAWD IT'S LIKE I'M AN OVERWORKED MOTHER OF SEVEN THOUSAND KIDS"

"Man, Mom's bein' pissy..." Skye mumbled.

"I'm not your mom!" Julie exploded. "That would be like a newborn baby giving birth!"

"Ewwwww!" Luke screamed.

Julie sighed. "Okay... let's do something fun. You guys like singing, right?"

The guys nodded.

"So, let's sing something!"

Skye nodded happily. "Good idea! Like, 'Dora, Dora, Dora crossed the border!'"

"I got a better song!" Vaughn said. "Jingle Bombs!"

"DUDE YEAH 8D" Achmed appeared out of nowhere. They all started singing.

_Dashing through the sand  
With a bomb strapped to my back  
I have a nasty plan  
For Xmas in Iraq!_

_I got through Checkpoint A  
But not through Checkpoint B  
That's when I got shot in the ass  
by the US military!_

_Oh, Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs, mine blew up, you see  
Where are all the virgins that-_

"Ooh! Virgins!" Skye interrupted the song. "I wanna be a suicide bomber and work for Bin Laden!"

"STFU Skye" Vaughn ordered harshly.

_-that Bin Laden promised me?  
Oh, Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs, your soldiers shot me dead  
The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head!_

_I used to be the man  
But every time I cough  
Thanks to Uncle Sam  
My nuts keep falling off-_

"Imagine your nuts falling off!" Rocky said. "It would suck if you were doing someone! Like, 'Cough cough Aw crap'!"

Everyone made a face like this: o_o

_My bombing days are done  
I need to find some work  
Perhaps it would be much safer  
As a convenient store night clerk!_

_Oh, Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs, I think I got screwed  
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I keel you!_

_END_

_

* * *

_Renee clapped with gusto. "Bravo! Bravo!"

We all took a bow. Even Arista, who was the one talking to me when I was Snow White in the cottage place.

"That was amazing!" Renee congratulated us again. "You were great! And, to show my appreciation, I shall give you the map of Nanithm!"

Most of us gasped.

"Yes, I am the Council Queen, the one who dubbed your friend Logan here as Artichoke, to protect his identity." She covered her mouth, as if she had said too much. "Oh, dear." She paused, listening to absolutely nothing. "The beldam is angered at you. At me, as well. She is sending her shadows to come and find you."

She handed us a map and ushered us out of the place real fast. Almost at the same time, hundreds of black blobs ululated in anger. They filtered out of the windows and doors and tried grabbing us. We ran away, but Sylvester tripped.

The shadows grabbed him. And took him away.

We all knew the same would happen to us if we fell.

But, for some reason, it looked kind of suspicious to me. I mean, Sylvester was the only one who knew Renee, and was the first one to fall.

Logan tripped not long after.

The shadows took hold of him, too.

Even stranger. Renee had mentioned that Logan had an identity to protect. He was the second to fall. What kind of dark tricks and secrets were lurking around here...?

**XXX**

**Good chapter? I hope so. I worked real hard on it. My computer was screwing everything up, erasing everything I was writing. But I got it done anyway.**

**So I guess there's your pre-Xmas present from me. You might be wondering why I added Achmed the Dead Terrorist in there. Good question. I'm asking myself the same thing. Hm. Interesting.**

**The Snow White thing was originally gonna last so much longer. But I was kinda tired of writing, and I had kinda run out of ideas, too. And my arse was numb. Oh, PS: I don't own Snow White; that should be pretty obvious. But I guess Disney would be pissed off if I didn't say that. Like they would even be reading this story. Though it would be pretty good if they did. I'd be sorta famous. That'd be pretty cool.**

**But I digress.  
**

**Um, there's gonna be about... 3 more chapters, i think? Or maybe I should make it 4, to make it 20 chapters in total? Yeah, I can manage that. I think.**

**Next chapter should probably be up by Christmas, if I'm not too busy! And the story should be done by the time Winter Break is up! So yay!**

**Okay bye people! Til next chapter!  
**

**~Arista Deja  
**


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